


Entwined

by LicieOIC



Series: The Musical Theatre AU's [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Twins, Based on a True Story, Conjoined Twins, Disturbing Themes, Explicit Sexual Content, Multi, OT3, Other, Show Business, vaudeville
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-17 21:54:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2324477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LicieOIC/pseuds/LicieOIC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As conjoined twins, John and James Smith have only ever known the life of side show freaks. When Rose Tyler shows up to offer them a chance at vaudeville, it almost seems too good to be true. But their lives become more complicated than they anticipated when love impossibly winds its way through the three of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Come Look At The Freaks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [larxenethefirefly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/larxenethefirefly/gifts).



> Based on the musical "Side Show," which was inspired by the true story of Daisy and Violet Hilton.
> 
> I am fudging a lot on the time line with the references to PT Barnum and Jenny Lind, which happened in the mid-1800s, and this story takes place in the late 1920s to early 1930s. Just go with it, creative license!
> 
> Also, because of the time period, the twins are referred to as 'Siamese twins' rather than 'conjoined twins.' I don't mean to offend anyone, I'm just trying to be true to the era.
> 
> Dedicated to Larx, happy birthday, sweetie! Betaed by Endelda, with my thanks!

The Midway smelled like popcorn and candy floss and toffee apples, the sweet scents covering the smells of animal dung and underwashed bodies. Beneath that was the scent of the hay which seemed to be everywhere, sprinkled over the spongy ground like confetti. Thousands of electric lights dazzled the eyes. Calliope music drifted on the air, mingling with the laughter and shouts of children with their families. Roustabouts called to the people, urging them to come play their games of chance, to come see the shows, each of them wearing a slightly filthy apron that had three pockets. One for new tickets; these they gave to their customers. One for torn tickets, given back once they were used to purchase some amusement. And the last, the largest, for money, as carefully guarded as a dragon over his horde.

Rose Tyler stood next to a brightly painted sign that garishly proclaimed ‘Come Look At The Freaks!’ She bounced on her toes a little in restlessness, weaving her head to look around the crowds of people, trying to see if her contact had arrived. With her heels sinking into the soft earth she stood on, she was no taller than usual. She lifted her feet and stepped to one side, this new patch slightly firmer. She wrapped her arms about herself, hugging her tan wool coat which matched her smart cloche hat, the caramel color emphasizing her large amber eyes and short golden hair, worn in curls that framed her face.

She had no interest in the sights and sounds; Rose had been to the midway before. She had come back because something had intrigued her. Enough to prompt her to call up Jack Harkness and tell him to meet her there. Pushing up one sleeve, she peeled back the edge of a soft pink glove to look at her slim wristwatch, then huffed impatiently.

“Have I kept you waiting?” an amused male voice said from nearby.

Rose turned her head to see a tall man in a gray suit under a dark trenchcoat striding toward her. In one hand he held the stick of a toffee apple. He tilted up the brim of his fedora with the other, revealing twinkling blue eyes in a strikingly handsome face. She frowned at him, knowing him too well to be charmed by his appearance.

“You know you have,” she said. “If you were my date, I’d be insulted.”

“Ah, but I’m not your date, as you’ve told me many times, we’re just people who work together,” he said with a look of mock-sadness. He extended the apple to her. “Bite?”

“I’ll smudge my lipstick,” she said primly.

“Suit yourself,” he said with a shrug. He took a large bite, then fished a handful of paper napkins out of his coat pocket. “What was so impressive that you had to drag me all the way out here?”

Rose smiled and took Jack’s arm. “Follow me,” she said, leading him to the tent marked ‘Side Show.’ “And hurry, the show’s about to end for the night. We might’ve had more time if _someone_ hadn’t been late.”

“I suppose the least I can do to make it up to you is see what you’re so keen about,” said Jack, gamely following her.

She handed two tickets to the roustabout near the entrance. The man gave her a smile as he tore the red paper with practiced ease and bid them enjoy the show. The tent was long but narrow, divided into sections so that each act had its own small stage. Anyone who purchased a ticket could remain in each section to watch as much or as little as they wished.

The first stage held a side show staple, a bearded lady. She lounged on a sofa, smoking a cigarette from a long holder, blowing rings of smoke into the air. On the next stage, a sign proclaimed the man and woman as ‘The World’s Smallest Cossacks.’ Each no taller than three feet, they twirled and jumped in miniature versions of Russian peasant garb, dancing to a gramophone that played traditional folk songs from their country. Sharing the music on the stage next to theirs was ‘The Living Venus di Milo,’ a beautiful blonde woman who’d been born without arms. She wore a corset made of metal that looked more like a Valkyrie breastplate and a black tutu, with ballet toe shoes on her feet. Her grace as she danced was bizarre to watch, for how she balanced on her toes without her arms as a counter-balance was a mystery. The longer one watched, the more their eyes would fill in the blanks, and it was as if a pair of ghostly arms attached themselves to her. Rose would have recommended Venus to Jack, if watching her did not feel so disconcerting. Audiences wouldn’t appreciate her talent outside of the side show.

Rose hurried Jack past the more gruesome acts; the macabre Geek, biting the heads off of chickens and drinking their blood, the ‘Lizard Man’ who wore only a pair of dungarees, the better to show off his orangish, scaly skin, and the ferocity of the ‘Cannibal King,’ a wild-looking man who was kept chained up. A necklace of shrunken skulls hung around his neck, the bones as stark as the white tribal designs painted on his dark skin.

Jack lingered a bit longer than Rose would have liked at ‘Jeannie the Mermaid,’ a young girl who swam in a large round glass bowl, set upon a pair of crates. She flicked her gleaming green tail at the audience and propped herself up on the edge of the bowl to address them occasionally. Rose suspected it was the skimpy top made of seashells that held most of their attention, however. Jack also wanted to stay and watch the scantily clad dancing girls on the next stage, their placard proclaiming them to be the freed seraglio of a Hashemite sheik, unique in that they were all supposedly virgins still. Rose just rolled her eyes and tugged Jack along. The act she’d brought him there for was at the end of the tent.

“Here they are,” said Rose as they came to stand at the back of the largest crowd, craning her neck to see the stage.

Above the heads of the audience, two identical men stood side by side singing well-known songs and encouraging the people to sing along. They even divided the crowd sometimes, to have ‘competitions’ over who was the better leader, who could make their group sing the loudest. Rose grinned and laughed at their antics; they were quite charismatic. Handsome, too, the twins each possessed a tall, slim frame, chestnut hair that was a bit messy but looked well on them, large chocolate colored eyes, and winning smiles. They each wore beige, open-neck shirts that might have once been white and worn brown trousers with matching bracers. Neither of them wore a jacket.

“Alright, singing twins, what’s so unique about them?” Jack asked.

“Come on, you’ll see,” said Rose, tugging him through the people to get closer to the stage. She knew the moment Jack realized just what was different, because his mouth dropped open.

It wasn’t readily apparent, because of the clothing the twins wore. The trousers were so cunningly made that, at first, the brothers appeared to be merely standing next to each other, but this close, Jack could see that the waistband actually went around both of them. The center legs were separate only to about mid-thigh, then they joined into one large trouser leg, connecting the two men.

“They’re--”

“Siamese twins,” said Rose with a smug smile. “Joined at the hip. And-- shh, shh, listen to this.”

The twins let the crowd quiet down before joining hands and launching into a rather moving rendition of ‘Danny Boy.’ A few women in the audience wiped away tears from their performance.

“Their technique is all wrong, of course,” Rose whispered into Jack’s ear, “but listen to that purity of tone. Beautiful. Diamonds in the rough. I can polish them, make them shine. I think they really have something. And no one will have an act like this, you know that.”

Jack nodded thoughtfully. “You really think you can turn them into something worthy of vaudeville?”

“I know I can,” Rose said, confidently. “Remember the Swedish Nightingale? She was only a magpie before she met me.”

Jack smirked at the memory. Very few people knew that Rose had been the driving force behind the sensation that Jenny Lind became. “Mr. Barnum paid me a great deal of money for her act.”

“Barnum also had the famous Siamese twins, Chang and Eng, for a while,” Rose reminded him. “Think of the possibility of combining those two wonders - Siamese twins who can sing and possibly dance. I’ll teach them, if they can be taught, create an act for them and you get them into the Orpheum Circuit across the pond. This could pay off big for both of us.”

As the crowd applauded for the twins, Jack turned and led Rose toward the exit. “Alright. Can you set up a meeting with, ah--”

“The Smith brothers. Yes. I’ve already looked into it. We just need to have a little chat with their boss.” She wrinkled her nose slightly. “He’s a rather nasty fellow, calls himself ‘the Master.’ But I’ve been told he offers private shows with the acts for an additional fee.”

Rose knocked on the door of a trailer next to the exit of the side show tent. A slightly scruffy man wearing black opened the door, leaning out to see who it was. His dark eyes were narrowed, but his expression smoothed when he saw what appeared to be a classy couple standing there.

“Well, well, customers,” he said, smoothing his white blond hair back from his forehead as he exited his trailer and closed the door behind him. “What can I do for you this fine evening?”

Rose gave him her best smile. “We were wondering if you could tell us more about your Siamese twins,” she said.

“Curious, are you, my dear?” said the Master. “It’s only natural.” He tapped his chin. “Let’s see, where to begin? Well, scientists believe that Siamese twins come from the same life and that their complete separation in the womb was hampered in some way. They are called ‘Siamese’ because the first widely known specimens came from Siam. They share everything, yet remain completely separate in their minds, bodily functions, and presumably, their souls. But enough about science!” The man rubbed his hands together. “Would you perhaps like to see more?”

“More?” Rose repeated, fluttering her eyelashes coyly, though she knew exactly what he was referring to.

“More of the twins,” the Master elaborated, then gestured toward his own hip. “They might be convinced to display their connection, up close and private, for a small consideration of two pounds for ten minutes. Each. And no touching,” he added with a stern look. “How about it?”

Inwardly, Rose cringed. How many times had those poor brothers been made to drop trou in front of strangers because this horrid man told them to? But if it was the only way to get a word with them in private… “I’m intrigued!” she said, displaying none of her distaste. She quickly opened her reticule and provided the four pounds. “Lead on.”

The Master grinned and took the money, the notes disappearing into one of his pockets in a flash. “Right this way to the backstage area,” he said, spreading out one arm in the direction he wished them to go. “You’re in for the experience of a lifetime.”

* * *

Backstage, the twins covered their eyes as their fellow acts brought forth a slightly misshapen homemade cake with lit candles stuck in the chocolate frosting. At the loud “ta-da!” they uncovered their eyes and everyone began to sing ‘Happy Birthday.’ The brothers smiled widely at each other, basking in the affection from their surrogate family.

“Attention, please, attention,” called Franz the Geek, raising his long arms. “Being that our Cannibal King is the only royalty around--”

“Says who?” demanded Olga, the bearded lady.

“His poster!” said Franz, pointing at the large painted muslin poster that depicted Mickey in all his fearsome glory. “His billing says that he’s a king.”

Olga stroked her beard with a smile. “Mine says _I’m_ a lady.”

“Well, they had to call ya somethin’,” said Leroy, the lizard man, clapping her soundly on the back as everyone laughed good-naturedly. She made a face at him, but wasn’t upset. The two of them had been married about as long as the twins had been alive.

“As I was saying,” said Franz, raising his eyebrow at them all, “the Cannibal King wishes to make a proclamation. All hail the Cannibal King!”

Everyone bowed to Mickey, who laughed. Out of his furry trousers and dried grass skirt, wearing normal, if worn out, clothing and his stage makeup washed away, he looked like a regular man. Grandly, he said, “I, being the only available king, hereby declare today a holiday to honor a pair of brothers who share everything, including their birthday and our love. John and James!”

Everyone applauded as the twins blew out the candles on the cake, but the happy sounds faded as the Master strode through the middle of the group, waving his hands.

“Alright, alright, break it up, party’s over,” he said. “The twins have a private appointment.”

“But it’s their birthday!” said Franz, holding up the cake as if to show proof.

“Says who?” asked the Master, an unwitting parody of Olga’s earlier words.

Minerva the fortune teller, or Minnie, as she was called backstage, stepped forward protectively. “We always have a little celebration for them.” The others nodded their agreement.

“I don’t care what you ‘always’ do!” the Master spat. “I’m trying to run a business here! We’ve got a customer who wants a private show and the customer’s always right! So, the rest of you can bugger off!”

Mickey came around the man’s other side, drawing his attention away from the others by subtly shaking a metal box. The sound of money always got the boss’s attention. “Master, I’ve got the day’s receipts for you to go over and there’s a brand new bottle of gin in your trailer.”

“What?” The Master turned and accepted the cash box from Mickey with a pleased expression. “Oh. Good, good. Mickey, you stay here and make sure things proceed as usual.” He went to the flap of the tent and held it back for the customers to enter. “Sir and lady, you’ve got ten minutes!”

The Master left as a man and a woman entered the tent together. John and James clasped their center hands, giving each other a little squeeze. This wasn’t how they wanted to spend their birthday, but a job was a job.

“Happy birthday,” John murmured to his brother.

“Happy birthday,” James returned with a sigh. They didn’t look at the couple who stopped in front of them, they just reached for the button of their rough brown trousers.

“Wait,” said the man. “You don’t have to show me anything, I just want to talk.”

Before the twins could respond, Mickey frowned, moving closer to the couple suspiciously. “You made a deal to look, not talk,” he said.

“I’m Jack Harkness,” the man said with a glimmering smile, holding out his hand to Mickey. “What’s your name?”

He looked at Jack’s hand as though it might bite, then took it for a firm shake. “‘s Mickey. Though I’m known here as the Cannibal King.”

“That’s you?” Jack asked, surprised. “Well, color me impressed.” He reached into his jacket and pulled out a ten pound note. “Listen, Mickey, I promise me and my friend Rose don’t mean the Smiths any harm. We just want to talk.”

Mickey looked at the note, obviously tempted, but he said, “Mister, I like money as much as the next carnie, but in this depression, I like my job even more.”

“Believe me, I understand--” Jack stopped as Rose laid a hand on his arm.

She looked up at Mickey, entreatingly. “Mickey, do you care about the twins?”

“We all do,” said Mickey. “You work the side show, you’re family.”

“Then you’ll like what we can do for them,” said Rose. “Please. Just a few minutes of private conversation.”

Mickey shook his head. “If the Master comes back--”

“Look.” Rose pointed over by the entrance to the tent. “If you stand there, you can keep watch for your boss and keep an eye on us at the same time. Does that sound alright to you?”

“They seem nice, Mickey,” John offered.

“I don’t like this,” said Mickey, but he was wavering.

“You’ll be nearby,” said James. “It’s fine.”

Mickey looked at Jack and Rose, then at the twins, and sighed. “Alright. Whatever you wanna talk about, in the time you’ve got left.” He went to the flap of the tent and stood guard.

“Awful lot of fuss just to talk,” said John, lifting his left eyebrow at the couple. “You said your name is Jack Harkness?”

“That’s right,” said Jack, shaking each twin’s hand in turn. “And this is my associate, Rose Tyler.”

“Hello,” she said, smiling.

“Hello,” both twins answered at once, holding their hands out to her. With a little laugh, she crossed her arms and shook them both at the same time. It made them smile brightly. “Associate?” asked James, almost shyly. “You’re not… married?”

Rose and Jack laughed. “No, not at all,” she said. “We work together.”

“I’d like to talk business, rather than pleasure, if that’s alright,” said Jack.

“Business?” said John, furrowing his brow but still smiling, as though assuming it to be a joke. “Are you sure you mean to talk to _us?”_

“Absolutely, and my intentions are completely honorable.” Jack looked a bit embarrassed. “I feel kinda silly asking this but, would you mind telling me who is whom?”

The twins smiled as if this was a question they were asked regularly. “I’m John,” said the twin on the left. “I’m James,” said the twin on the right. They struck a pose with their arms out, their fingers doing a jazzy wiggle. “We’re Siamese twins!” The routine was clearly rehearsed and Jack and Rose grinned at their charming antics.

“I’m the twin to your right,” said James. “You can remember that bit because I’m _always_ right.”

John scoffed. “Ha! Hark at you! ‘Always right,’ what a laugh!” They jostled each other, warring their elbows together and making Rose and Jack chuckle.

“What’s it like, always being together?” asked Rose.

“What’s it like being beautiful?” asked John, waggling his eyebrows at her suggestively.

James smacked his brother’s shoulder. “Oh, stop it! You’re being rude!”

“That’s us, I’m afraid,” said John, almost apologetically. “Rude and not-ginger.” They each ruffled the other’s hair, another rehearsed bit. They certainly played well off of each other, but then, after spending their lives together, Rose supposed they should.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “It was rude of me to ask.”

“Everyone does,” said James, pressing his lips together in a sad smile. “It’s alright.”

“No, it isn’t,” said Rose, seriously, “but it’s sweet of you to say otherwise.”

“You must be very similar,” said Jack.

“Oh, no, we’re nothing alike,” said John with a little chuckle that James echoed.

“Well, who makes the most decisions?” asked Jack.

“I do,” answered both twins at once, and Rose giggled. James added, “We both make our own decisions.”

“But there must be times where you don’t agree, or times you want to be alone?” asked Jack. “What do you do then?”

“Have you ever been in a conversation, but your mind drifted somewhere else?” asked John. “Or been in a room, surrounded by people, yet felt a million miles away? That’s what we do. We close a door inside our minds.”

“It’s all about focus and concentration. Mr. Harry Houdini taught us how,” said James. “Oh, wasn’t that a day! That man, let me tell you, he is _brilliant!”_

“And that’s where we go when we want to be alone,” said John. “We could go there right now, if you wanted us to, but we’d rather stay here with you.” He winked at Rose, earning himself another slap on the arm from his brother.

Rose just smiled. “I brought Jack to hear you sing,” she said. “You have talent and the potential to do much more. I think you could take vaudeville by storm.”

“Vaudeville?” repeated John, his eyes going wide.

She nodded. “Jack’s an agent on the Orpheum Circuit in America. We’ve scouted other acts here in Europe before and they’ve been very successful.”

“I’m very well connected,” Jack said with a confident grin.

“So are we,” said the twins in one voice, then glanced at each other and chuckled. Apparently, they hadn’t planned that, they were just so in tune with themselves, the joke had come naturally.

“But… we’re freaks,” said James, once their mirth had passed.

“Don’t say that!” said Rose, reaching out to touch James’ sleeve. “You’re… different, exotic, unique… I could build lots of acts around that theme.” She checked her watch and frowned. “We’ve only got a few minutes left. Let me ask you just one more thing, because this is important - What are your dreams? What do you long for? There’s no point in asking you to work with us if your goals lay elsewhere.”

The twins shared identical sad half-smiles before responding. “Well, I’m afraid you can’t really help us there,” said James. “Because we want what everyone wants - to be like everyone else. I’d love to be able to walk down a street and not attract any attention, not see anyone murmuring behind their hands, looking at me sympathetically. That’s the worst… Seeing people turn their children away when they point and stare.” John reached over and took James’ hand, giving it a squeeze, before answering the question for himself.

“I want that, too, to be normal,” said John, “but instead of having no reaction, I’d much rather have everyone recognize me as a famous celebrity. I’d like to see those who’ve laughed at us feeling ashamed of themselves.” Eyes sparkling, he spread out a hand, painting the picture. “If I was famous, I’d go abroad and see everything! Travel, play every stage that would have me, and just revel in all the applause.”

“And I’d much rather settle down, find a wife and a home,” said James, shyly looking at the ground.

“I guess we don’t really agree on this,” said John with a little smile. “Being like everyone else means something different to each of us.”

Before they could say anything else, Mickey came back over to the little group. “Alright, time’s up. You two better get outta here.”

“Oh, no, don’t make them,” said John, entreatingly.

“You know what’ll happen if the Master comes back,” Mickey warned.

“No, it’s alright,” said Jack. “Actually, I’d appreciate it if you’d get him for me. I’d like to talk to him.”

“You don’t know what you’re getting into,” said Mickey.

“I have a pretty good idea,” said Jack. “Please?”

Mickey sighed, putting his hands on his hips. “You’re gonna lose me my job,” he said, shaking his head, but left the tent to go find the Master all the same.

“Do you have anymore questions for us?” asked John, looking pleased to have a few more moments with Jack and Rose.

“Not right now,” said Jack.

“Then do you mind if we ask one?” asked John.

“Not at all.”

“Why us?” asked John, gesturing between him and his brother.

“It’s all Rose’s doing,” said Jack, putting an arm around her as she ducked her head modestly. “She insisted that I come see you. Since I know that she’s a very talented musician herself, I trust her judgement.”

“Jack’s over-selling me,” she said, a slight blush on her cheeks. “I sing. Dance, too.”

“Skip the resume,” said Jack. “Tell them what you told me.”

She tucked a strand of hair behind an ear and fiddled with her dangly earring. “Well, when I happened upon this side show and saw you, I felt right away that you needed something more dignified. The way you’re presented is all wrong. And when I heard your voices, I thought you needed a song written for you. You each have a gift that could flourish in the right hands, with the right coaching. You two are something to be cherished. And whether or not you work with me and Jack, I think you deserve a better life than this.”

James opened his mouth to say something, but the flap of the tent was swept back and the Master strode in with Mickey on his heels.

“You two should be long gone,” the Master said, with none of the smoothness he’d given them before. “That was our deal.”

Jack turned to him with a smile, turning on the charm that came second nature to him. “I’d like to make you a new and better one.” He nodded at their surroundings. “I’m impressed with your operation. And let me say, my appreciation of your hard work and business know-how comes from years of experience myself in tough situations, trying to make a buck. Or, in your case, a pound.” He leaned in, dangling the carrot. “I could make you a lot of money.”

“How?” asked the Master, warily curious.

“I’m a talent scout and a press agent from the Orpheum Circuit in America,” said Jack, reaching into his coat for his business card, which he handed over. “I think your twins could play vaudeville.”

The Master furrowed his brow in disbelief. “They’re freaks.”

Knowing not to nay-say him in the middle of a negotiation, Jack said nothing about the Master’s opinion, but Rose reached over to James, the twin nearest her, and took his hand. When she squeezed it, both twins looked at her and she gave them an encouraging smile. They nodded, acknowledging her support silently.

“They can sing,” said Jack to the Master, who scoffed.

“You call that singing? I’ve heard better down at the pub.”

“Let us work with them.” Jack gestured to Rose. “This lady here is a wonderful teacher.”

“Please, let us,” said James, the twins taking a step forward.

“Yes, we could learn something,” added John.

“Stop!” the Master barked, and the twins fell silent, drawing back a little at the command. The Master glared at Jack. “Are you deaf?”

“No,” said Jack, his brows drawing together slightly in confusion.

“Well, you must at least be a bit hard of hearing if you think what these two do is singing,” the Master said, nastily. “I think you must be blind as well, because I don’t think you noticed that they’re joined at the hip! Permanently! I don’t know what kind of weird pervert you are, that you think people would pay to see them anywhere other than a side show, but I protect my acts from vermin like you. So let me save your breath and my valuable time.” He pointed at John and James. “They are freaks. They will _never_ leave this show!”

Rose stepped in front of the twins slightly, fire sparking in her eyes, as she drew in a breath to tell the horrible man exactly what she thought of him and his ‘show.’ John’s hand fell on her shoulder, stopping her. She looked back and he shook his head, his eyes begging her to keep quiet. She’d only make things worse for them.

The Master straightened his coat. “Now, I’m sure there are other playthings for you to find in the dregs of society. Why don’t you get out of here so you can start looking.” He jerked his head toward the tent flap, his meaning clear.

“I’m sorry,” said Jack, inclining his head. “I didn’t mean to intrude on your business.” He held out his hand for Rose, but John squeezed her shoulder, keeping her from leaving.

“No, please, don’t go,” he said.

“You shut your mouth!” the Master snapped and John let go of her at once. The Master turned to leave. “Mickey, make sure they get out of here. And you two!” He glared at the twins over his shoulder. “You’d better stay out of my sight!”

He left the tent and Jack held out a hand to the twins. “I didn’t mean to cause you trouble,” he said, apologetically, shaking each hand in turn.

“It’s alright,” said John, clearly disappointed that Jack and Rose were leaving.

“Goodbye,” said James, looking just as sad.

Jack took a step toward the exit at Mickey’s gesture, but Rose held her ground and lifted her chin.

“I’m right, aren’t I, Mickey,” she said. “The twins can sing.” Reluctantly, Mickey nodded and she smiled, encouraged. “Then help me prove it. I can help them change the Master’s tune.”

“How?” asked John, his eyes brightening with excitement.

She grinned. “Meet in secret. I’ll come back every night and teach you a song, maybe a little dance routine. You perform for Jack and some of your friends as a kind of audition.”

“This’ll never work,” said Mickey. “And if the Master finds out--”

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt us,” said John immediately, already warm to the idea.

“We’ll be very careful. He’s just a nasty drunk,” said James. “It isn’t hard to put one over on him if you know how.”

“I can bring you bottles of booze to help keep him in the dark,” Rose offered.

“You’d really do all this for us?” asked James.

“Of course,” Rose said, smiling, then turning to look at Mickey. “Provided we can count on your help, too?”

Mickey clearly didn’t trust the two newcomers, his gaze flicked between them for a moment before he looked at the twins. At their pleading expressions, Mickey sighed. “I wouldn’t say no to the twins. If they want what you’re offering, you can count on our family to help.”

“Great!” said Jack, clapping Mickey on the back. “Rose will teach the two of you everything she knows. In the meantime, I need to meet up with my contacts and lay the groundwork for your debut. I’ll be back in two weeks to see what you’ve learned. Work hard, and do everything Rose tells you.”

“We will,” said James.

“Anything she says,” added John.

“Then you can say goodbye to the freak show,” said Jack. “I’ve got a good feeling about this.” He turned to the exit, putting an arm over Mickey’s shoulders to walk with him. “Mickey, can you advise me on a place for Rose to stay here? I can set her up nearby, but I think it would be better if she could be hidden somewhere backstage, that way she’s ready to coach the twins at a moment’s notice.”

“Let me talk to the others,” Mickey said before the tent flap fell behind them.

Rose looked at John and James, grabbing each of their hands and bouncing on her toes a little. “I’m excited! Aren’t you?”

John nodded happily, but James looked nervous. “What if I can’t do it?” he asked. “I don’t want us to fail just because of me, John’s brilliant at everything and--”

“Don’t think like that,” said Rose, squeezing his hand. “I know you can do this, you just need a little help and that’s what I’m here for. I’ll see you later, alright? We’ll need to rally our supporters among your family. The more people to keep an eye out for the Master, the better.”

They nodded and promised to plead their case at dinner with the other acts. With another heart-warming smile, Rose followed after Jack, giving a wave at the tent flap. James and John returned the wave, cautiously optimistic, but still worried. Life was rarely kind to people like them, and a surge of good-fortune was a foreign thing. They weren’t quite sure if they could trust the happy feeling slowly winding its way around their hearts.


	2. More Than We Bargained For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose spends two weeks at the side show, teaching the twins a song and dance number. It's obvious that the twins are sweet on Rose and she worries about doing what's right, despite feeling attracted as well.

As the side show acts gathered around the fire for their meager dinner of beans, day-old bread, and some shriveled, pathetic-looking carrots, Mickey and the twins explained what had happened that night with Rose and Jack. The twins were animated and enthusiastic, Mickey decidedly less so. It was obvious that he didn’t really trust the two interlopers and was only helping for the sake of John and James.

“The two that were here are the ones to make your dreams come true,” said Minnie, gravely, but with a smile. “I have seen it in my crystal ball. And you know I’m never wrong.”

“Oh, boys, please don’t go with them,” Olga pleaded, worry written large on her face, even through her beard.

“I think they should try,” said a harem girl.

“We already agreed to,” said John.

“Agreed to learn a song,” clarified James. “There’s no guarantee that we’ll be any good at what they want us to do. And we never agreed to leave the side show.”

“Not yet,” said Olga, knowingly. She and Leroy had been with the show a long time, they’d seen acts come and go.

“It’s not that we want to leave you all,” said John. “But vaudeville…” He sighed, the fire reflecting in his eyes, betraying the longing he felt. “We could make something of our lives.”

“This life isn’t good enough for you?” asked Lev, the male Cossack.

His female counterpart, Vera, rolled her eyes and indicated their circle of tents with one hand. “You call _this_ a life?”

“I call it the only life the boys have ever known,” said Franz, quietly, his eyes on his plate.

“You’ll get targeted out there in the real world,” said Leroy.

“Well, I think they should go if they want to,” said Anya, the living Venus, who was maneuvering her plate and fork dexterously with her feet.

Everyone began talking at once, arguing both points, until Mickey stood up. “That’s enough!” he said, raising his voice above the others’. “This isn’t about us. It’s about James and John. It’s their decision.” He turned to the twins, who only looked more confused over the conflict dividing their family. “And I’m not gonna tell you I think you’re making a mistake or tell you not to go. We can only tell you what we’ve learned, working in places like this; and that’s sometimes the devil you know beats the devil you don’t.”

“Like I said, you don’t know the world beyond the side show,” said Franz. “We were all there at one point and this is the best home you’re likely to find.”

“Here, among your family, you have a certain amount of safety,” said Olga. “We depend on each other. The world out there can be so unkind, it doesn’t know how to take people like us.”

“How can you say for sure that these people are so wicked?” asked Anya, gracefully rising to her feet. “Whatever lies in store, it can’t be as bad as working here, under the Master’s thumb.”

“I’ve seen that John and James are bound for glory,” said Minnie. “None of you have ever doubted my predictions before, and I can see that the man who was here will do all that he said for them. They shouldn’t miss this chance because some of _you_ are afraid. Or jealous.”

“Jealous of what?” asked Mickey.

“Of their success!”

“Which hasn’t happened yet!” said Leroy.

Mickey held up his hands. “Alright, alright,” he said, with a glance at the twins, who’d sat silently during the heated exchanges. More than confused, they looked worried now. The argument was only causing them distress and Mickey knew that wasn’t fair. More gently, he said, “We could stand here and argue all night for your sakes. That’s what family does, because we care about what happens to you.” He sighed and rubbed his neck. “Maybe you’ll go and maybe you won’t. It’s up to you. A new opportunity _does_ look good next to a name-calling, gin-swilling miser like the Master. But what you have here still might be better than an uncertain future with a couple of posh dream-spinners. The Master made all of us promises when we agreed to work for him. Those two will be no different. It just remains to be seen if they’ll follow through.”

There were many rumbles of discontent as the acts wandered off to their tents for the night. It seemed that the camp was divided in two, as to whether or not they believed Rose and Jack’s offer to be a good one. For most of them, it was second nature to distrust outsiders. For the rest, they were so tired of the Master’s treatment that any new venture ought to be considered.

The twins lay down on their double wide cot and shared a sigh. They knew without asking the other that they were both nervous. James sought John’s hand as they lay staring up at the ceiling of their tent.

“What if they’re right?” he whispered. “What if we leave and it’s worse out there?”

“Mm,” John hummed in consideration. “And what if they’re wrong? We’d be giving up the best thing that’s come along in our lives.” He turned his head to look at his brother. “I want to try. You know I can’t do it without you.”

The corner of James’ mouth lifted in a half-smile. “Of course you can’t,” he said, shaking his head slightly at the obvious. “But this is your dream, John. I wouldn’t say no if it might be within your reach.”

“What about _your_ dream?”

James rolled his eyes. “I’m just as unlikely to find love here as I am on the Orpheum Circuit.”

“Stop it,” John ordered, elbowing James in his side. “You never know what might happen. Look at today.”

“I’m looking at tomorrow,” James said, darkly. “When Miss Tyler finds out you’re shackled to a mule with four left feet.”

“Why are you always such a pessimist?”

“Because all the optimism went into you. I got what was left.”

John snorted. “Go to sleep.”

“I’ll try.” They both knew he wasn’t just talking about sleeping.

* * *

Mickey snuck Rose into the backstage area the following night. She had dressed in a plain gray dress and had her hair tucked up into a dark cap, hoping to draw little attention to herself. She had a carpet bag with her, containing her necessities; she’d packed very lightly in preparation for her two weeks at the side show.

They’d arranged for Rose to bunk with the harem girls. It was the largest tent and there were seven of them, so one more would hardly matter. With luck, she’d blend into the background, should the Master ever duck his head into the tent for whatever reason.

She expressed her thanks to the girls as they showed her the cot they’d set up for her. They assured Rose that they all thought the twins should make the most of this opportunity and also warned her that not everyone felt the same way they did. Rose thanked them again for the information and vowed to try and win everyone over. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d had to prove her worth. Being a woman, she wasn’t always believed to be capable in her line of work. She’d shown time and again that she was a force to be reckoned with and she wasn’t afraid of doing the same here.

“There are seven of you, yet I’ve only ever seen six of you dancing,” Rose remarked to the girls after being introduced to all of them. “Why is that?”

The harem shared sly glances and giggled. “We rotate the job of playing Jeannie,” Mary said, pointing to a corner of the tent. Rose looked and saw the green fin slumped over a chair, the seashell bodice and coral tiara flung on top of it. “We used to have one girl play her consistently, but her toenails developed some kind of fungus and started falling off because they were always wet.”

Rose wrinkled her nose in a grimace and the girls nodded their agreement.

“Since then, we only ever play her once a week for each of us. Gives us time to dry out!” Mary finished.

“So, Mickey’s not the only ‘fake’ then,” said Rose, then hastened to add, “Don’t worry, the secret’s safe with me.”

“It’s just Mickey and Jeannie,” said Susie. “Everyone else is real. Well, mostly. Leroy wasn’t really turned into a reptile as punishment for his sins, he just has a really bad skin condition. But Olga really does have a beard, Anya really has no arms.”

“And you lot are really virgins?” Rose asked, tucking her tongue into the corner of her smile mischievously.

They giggled again. “Well, some of us are,” confided Megan. “Not for lack of attention, though!”

“Oh, I can imagine, what with the outfits you wear!” laughed Rose.

“You should be careful, too, Rose,” said June. “The roustabouts are pretty bad, but the customers are worse. They see a pretty girl hanging around a side show and think she’s fair game.”

Rose smiled. “Thank you. I can handle myself, though. Anyone who gets too fresh with me better be prepared to receive a Tyler slap!”

* * *

After the show that night, Rose met with the twins to rehearse for the first time. They looked eager, but nervousness was written in every tense line of their bodies. She took a hand from each of them and smiled, encouraging them to be at ease with her, that they should be friends, not teacher and students. She insisted that they both call her ‘Rose’ after the first time James called her ‘Miss Tyler.’

They spent that first session relearning breathing technique and she explained the concept of singing from one’s diaphragm. She pressed on each of their abdomens, making them jump and laugh, to show them where they should tighten their muscles. Both twins were attentive, picking up the technique fairly quickly, and were good at correcting themselves when they forgot. Hours flew by before they even realized and she had to hurry them off to bed so they wouldn’t be too tired to work.

Rose spent the following day in the harem girls’ tent, using a small mandolin to compose a song for the twins to sing. It was a brief number, but as it was mostly an audition piece, it would do. She wanted them to start learning it as soon as possible so that she could work on teaching them to dance. Rose was certain that soft-shoe, the charleston, and tap dancing would fit their unique situation, she just had to see how they moved.

“How are you connected?” she asked, bluntly, at the start of their first dance lesson. “I only ask because I don’t want to hurt you by asking you to move in a way that you can’t.”

“Doctors have told us that our hip bones are fused together,” said John, answering much the same way as Rose had asked, with an almost clinical detachment. “We don’t share any organs, though.”

“Hmm,” she said, looking thoughtfully at their hips. “So, when one of you leans right, the other does too, whether he wants to or not?”

“Pretty much,” said James, illustrating the point by shifting his hips to the right. John followed the motion involuntarily, but it was smooth, not jerky, and Rose could see the potential in it.

She made a motion as though about to direct them, but she stopped and asked instead, “Forgive me for being curious, but… if it’s just the bone that connects you, haven’t you ever thought about getting separated?”

“Of course,” they answered together. “There are some doctors who would dearly love to try,” said John. “Many believe it’s possible. Others think that… well, that we might die from it.”

“Goodness,” she said, lifting her brows. “But why?”

“Because we’d pine for each other,” said James. “We’ve been together our whole lives. Some believe we wouldn’t know how to get along without the other there. That we might share a soul, and separating us would tear it in half and we wouldn’t survive.”

“Do you believe that?” she asked.

“Not really,” said John and James echoed the statement with a shake of his head. “But… we came into this world together. Perhaps we’re meant to live in it the same way.”

“We could always try separating later on,” said James. “If we had a compelling reason to do so. But we’re happy together.”

“For now,” added John, cheekily. James just smiled and rubbed his left eye with a finger as he shook his head slightly, declining to rise to his brother’s bait.

Done with the existential debate for the night, Rose got down to business. It was plain that John was slightly more gifted than his brother at picking up movement, but James worked with single-minded determination until he could keep up. When he became discouraged, John and Rose would pick him back up. He always seemed to try harder when Rose gave him a smile and squeezed his arm.

She decided after that first night to concentrate on soft-shoe for the audition piece, as the twins had learned it the quickest, but she also thought that tap dancing could be accomplished with more work. _If_ everything came together. She spent the next day working out a definitive routine to the song she’d written. Occasionally, one of the harem girls would wander into the tent and give an opinion, which was helpful.

John was not only quick to pick up the steps, but also wonderful at covering for James when he faltered, which would be a fantastic asset on stage. If James stepped the wrong way, John altered his own path accordingly, making it seem as though it was part of the choreography, until they could get back on track.

Rose laughed as John caught James when he tripped by grabbing his opposite arm and swinging them both around with a “ta da!”

“How do you do that?” she asked. “You seem to anticipate each other’s movement, every time, it’s brilliant.”

“Well, they say that all twins are a little psychic,” said John with a smile.

“We’ve always been able to do it, to a certain extent,” said James. “Hear what the other is thinking, know what the other is about to do. You get used to it. Or at least, we did.” They chuckled.

“It’s brilliant,” she said, going to a bench where Mickey had provided them all with a pitcher of water. She poured some out into three chipped ceramic cups. “Back when I was actively trying to be on stage, I would have killed for a partner that could guess my movements. Or at least just follow the bloody choreography.”

They joined her at the bench, each taking a mug before they sat down. “Why aren’t you on stage now, Rose? We are you teaching people like us?” asked John. “You’re amazing; you sing, dance, compose… Any theatre would be lucky to have you.”

She pressed her lips together in a slightly self-deprecating smile. “You’re sweet. But unfortunately, you two have the one thing I lack in order to be a compelling act: a gimmick. It sounds stupid, but audiences get bored very quickly of seeing the same routines, and girls like me are a dime a dozen. I’m not even tall enough to be a showgirl.”

Each twin scoffed. “What a heap of bollocks!” exclaimed James.

“I’ll say!” said John, his brows drawing together. “Not tall enough… bah! You’re easy twice as beautiful as any of those girls on the billboards.”

Her smile turned genuine. “You two are going to give me an inflated ego. But I really do enjoy this. I like helping others realize their potential. If I can help you become a success, then I’m a success, too.”

“How did you get into show business?” asked James.

She laughed and sat down, stretching her legs out in front of herself. “Oh, born in a trunk, me. Only the lid wasn’t shut, so I crawled right out to the footlights.” The twins blinked at her, so she winked. “Not quite. But nearly. My parents were in show business. Mum was a hoofer, like me, and my dad… well, he could do anything. Magic tricks, jokes, ventriloquism, trained dogs, you name it. Whatever was the biggest draw in the city we happened to be in. I was dancing and learning music as soon as I could walk and talk. I’ve never known anything else, except for the time I took off for school.” She sipped her cup of water, then tilted her chin at them. “What about you?”

They glanced at each other. Rose’s childhood sounded like glitter and excitement… Theirs was decidedly darker and not something they shared often. Not that they’d had many opportunities to talk to someone outside their patchwork family. An understanding passed between the two of them and, with a nod, they looked back at Rose.

“Well, it’s sort of the same for us,” said James, slowly.

“Sort of?” asked Rose.

“We’ve never known anything else,” John said.

“You’ve been in the side show your whole lives?” she asked, surprised. “What about your parents?”

“Our mother was unmarried,” said James. “The Master bought us from her when we were just a few weeks old.”

Her eyes widened. “The Master did? But he doesn’t look-- Just _how_ old is he?”

They chuckled. “Oh, there have been lots of ‘Masters’ over the years, he’s just the latest in a long line,” said John. “Every so often, the boss makes enough money, he retires, but someone new always takes over. We all call him ‘the Master,’ it saves time.”

“Not all of them were like this one,” said James. “There was one who was almost… helpful?”

John nodded. “Yes. A bit robotic in demeanor, though.”

“Anyway, we’ve been traveling with the side show ever since. Picked up our education from the various acts, read books, loads of books, whatever we could purchase with what little we earned and keep hidden away.”

“He doesn’t like you reading?” Rose asked, her brow furrowing.

“Thought it would give us ‘ideas,’” said John, wiggling his fingers near his head. “That we’d get ‘above ourselves.’ I think he’d much prefer we stayed ignorant. Easier to manage. We considered leaving once we reached our majority, and that was what he feared. That he’d lose his big draw.”

“Why did you stay?” she asked.

They shrugged. “Where else would we have gone?” asked James. “To another side show?”

“Where it would likely be just as dirty, just as difficult?” added John. “Here, we have a family to rely on.”

Rose bit her lower lip. “You’re taking an awful lot on faith with me and Jack,” she said, quietly. “Why are you trusting me?”

“Because you believed in us,” said John, and James nodded his agreement. “No one’s ever wanted something better for us and really meant it before. You could be giving us our best chance at a good life.”

Somewhat misty-eyed, she got to her feet and the twins followed suit, expecting to go back to rehearsing, but Rose held up a hand to stop them. “Hold on,” she said, her voice a little choked. “Just-- just stand right there, because I’m gonna hug you. All right?”

She came forward and fit herself between them, wrapping her arms around each waist, tucking her face into the crevasse of their shoulders. The twins stood in shock for a moment before they returned her embrace, each of them folding in partway to surround Rose, their arms overlapping across her back. James ducked his head to rest his cheek against her hair, John following a second later. Collectively, they took a breath, a tiny inhale of hope.

When she backed away, brushing an errant tear from her face, she gave them both a brilliant smile. “Just you wait,” she said. “This is going to be the best act that vaudeville has ever seen!”

* * *

Jack returned two weeks to the day that Rose had begun her work with the twins. She met him a short distance away from the backstage area after performances had concluded for the day, along with Mickey. He almost didn’t recognize her, wearing a cap with her hair stuffed underneath it and a large, rough coat over a plain dress. Rose had been lucky, she and the twins had never been caught by the Master while rehearsing or when Rose had gone about on errands for food (for herself) or booze (for Mickey to pass on). However, she was still careful to keep her looks hidden whenever she was outside the harem girls’ tent.

“Mickey, will you go ahead and tell the twins that Jack’s arrived?” Rose asked.

“We’re going to see them, aren’t we?” Jack asked in mild confusion.

“They weren’t ready yet when we left them,” said Mickey. “We had to wait til the Master passed out.” He ran ahead while Rose took Jack’s arm and followed at a more leisurely pace.

“I can’t wait to show you all we’ve accomplished,” Rose said, excitedly. “You won’t believe it. We met up every night at the oddest hours and the time just seemed to fly by. John and James really do have something special and these two weeks have just scratched the surface.”

“We’ll see,” said Jack, but his smile was warm. “You managed okay here?”

She tilted her head thoughtfully. “Well, not everyone was welcoming at first, which is understandable. But one night, Leroy-- oh, the Reptile Man-- caught me berating some young hoodlums outside of the tent. They had been making some nasty remarks about the acts.”

“What did you say to them?”

She lifted her chin at a rebellious angle, a defiant gleam in her eye. “I said if they were smarter, they’d recognize the living embodiment of bravery when they saw it and defied them to put themselves on display for money. They put on a threatening act, tried to cow me.”

“Oh, dear…” Jack looked worried, but not for Rose, whose grin was positively wicked.

“Oh, yes.”

“Were they able to walk away?”

“Two of them did. One wasn’t so lucky.” She demonstrated her swift, low kick and Jack winced in sympathy. “They helped him away as he mewled like a kitten.” She giggled. “I didn’t even know that anyone had seen it until a small group approached me the next night. Leroy had told everyone I’d stood up for them and apparently, that made me a part of the group. They apologized for any comments I might have heard regarding me or you and invited me to share their dinner after that.”

A half-smile quirked Jack’s lips. “Always knew that compassion of yours was your best asset, Rosie. You’ve finally found a home.”

She gave an exaggerated sigh of contentment. “It’s cozy.”

He chuckled. “Have the twins given you any trouble?”

“Well, James is a little slow, but we work until he gets it. John does everything right.” She bit her lower lip, glancing at the approaching side show tent with some worry, before pulling Jack to a stop in the shadow of another tent. “I’m a bit more concerned with some personal issues and before you say anything, I swear, I didn’t invite this.” He lifted an eyebrow at her and she sighed. “I think the twins might be a little sweet on me.”

Jack burst out laughing and Rose smacked him in the shoulder, irritably.

“Stop it! It’s not funny!” she said, glaring.

“Oh, come on, you weren’t expecting something like that to happen?” asked Jack.

She gaped at him. “You _expected_ this?”

“Of course!” he said. “Rose, you’re a gorgeous woman and I’d be very surprised if those two weren’t still virgins. At the very least, they’ve got to be affection starved. Naturally, they’d gravitate toward the first lady who showed them positive attention. Plus, you’d have to be blind not to notice that they’re quite good looking as well.”

She blushed and Jack’s eyebrows lifted.

“So, you _have_ noticed!”

“Shut up,” she muttered. “Of course they’re handsome. Incredibly sweet, too, and it’s impossible to ignore. When they flirt with me, I find myself flirting right back. And I know I shouldn’t, but…”

“Why not?” Jack asked, suddenly.

“What?” she asked, startled. “Well, they’re clients, for one! Or will be, at least.”

“Rose, I think you know how many clients I’ve dallied with over the years,” Jack said, sardonically. “Next excuse?”

“Well…” She looked a tad uncomfortable, looking at the ground as she twisted her fingers together. “They’re Siamese twins. How could I choose one over the other? It would be cruel. And then, we’d never be alone. How could that work?”

Jack chuckled, shaking his head. “Oh, Rose. You’ve got so much to learn. You haven’t known many men, have you?”

“Not like them,” she admitted. “But I know more than you think.”

“I’ve known lots of women _and_ men,” said Jack, a fact he was well-known for. Jack’s flagrant disregard for traditional sexuality was much talked about in their circle, mostly in salacious whispers, and Rose knew more details than anyone. Some details endured against her will. “You’ve never considered a… twosome?” He waggled his brows at her, then snickered at his own joke as she rolled her eyes.

“Jack, come on, be serious,” she said, turning to head for the tent again.

“You could always blindfold yourself,” he suggested.

_“What?”_ she nearly shrieked, whirling around to face him.

He held up his hands in an attitude of surrender. “Just a little joke!”

“This is no joking matter!” she said, poking him in the chest.

“Oh, you’re worrying too much,” he said, walking around her.

“Jack, it’s not fair to overlook their needs,” said Rose, following after him. “We need to be doing what’s fair and right for them. They deserve that. Sometimes I wish I could see the future, like Minnie.” She paused. “She’s the fortune--”

“I guessed that,” he said.

“I just think we’re getting more than we bargained for,” Rose said, then tugged Jack to a stop again, looking at one of the stalls nearby. “Hey, wait, let’s get them some flowers. For their debut.”

“Don’t you think flowers are a bit romantic?” Jack teased.

She shook her head. “Not when it’s a woman giving them to a man. It’s just to congratulate--” She narrowed her eyes as he tittered. “Oh, shut it, I hate you so much sometimes!”

“Love you, too, Rosie.”

* * *

“Everyone’s gathering near your stage,” Minnie told the twins, who were wearing a robe tailored to fit around them yet leave all four arms free. “We’re all excited to see the act. We know how hard you’ve been working.”

“I just hope nothing goes wrong,” muttered Mickey, who was keeping a look out at the tent flap. He stood back a moment later to allow Rose and Jack to enter, then exited himself as the small area was now crowded.

Rose gave John and James a big smile and handed them each a small bouquet of daisies. “Congratulations,” she said, warmly.

“Flowers?” said John, looking confused, but pleased.

“For us?” asked James, though it was obvious they were. He blushed. “But we haven’t done anything yet.”

“Nonsense,” said Rose. “You’ve put in two weeks of work with a grueling task mistress.” She winked at them. “And your debut is definitely an occasion to be marked.”

“How thoughtful,” said Minnie.

“I want you to know,” said Jack to the twins, “we’re all pulling for your success.”

“Why don’t you finish getting ready, and we’ll be waiting in the front row,” said Rose. Grasping their upper arms, she gave them a squeeze. “I’m so proud of you two.”

The twins beamed, then John reached out with tentative fingers, almost touching Rose’s neck, but not quite. “You’re wearing it,” he said, wonderingly.

She smiled, bringing her hand to her throat, touching the dark blue ribbon tied there as a choker. “Of course. You both gave it to me. It’s for good luck.”

_“I_ was the one who saw it,” said James, somewhat possessively. “I said it would look well with your hair.”

“Yes, but _I_ was the one who actually asked June if I could buy it off her,” argued John.

“The penny belonged to _both_ of us, and you know it,” said James.

Before the argument could progress further, Rose broke in, “As I said, it’s a gift from _both_ of you, and that’s why it means so much to me.” She offered a placating smile and each twin settled back down with a muttered apology. “Now, enough silliness. We’ll see you out there when you’re ready.”

The twins sat down at their makeup table with a sigh as soon as the others had left the tent. They held their bouquets close and John thoughtfully brushed his fingers over the cheerful flowers.

“All of our dreams are coming true, James,” he said.

His brother huffed and set his daisies aside. “At least the dream where you’re a star,” he said, grumpily.

“Rose is the personification of a dream,” John said, softly. “She makes me feel like… I don’t know, like I… swallowed a butterfly that tickles me until I’m holding in so much laughter, tears well up in my eyes.” He chuckled lightly, as if amused by his own visual. “One smile from her and my mouth goes dry, my thoughts race, yet make no sense… I feel like I might explode if I don’t tell her.”

“Why don’t you?” James asked in a dull voice as he picked up face powder that negated the shine from the harsh lighting in the tent.

“I’ve started to, probably a dozen times,” John said, powdering his own face when James was through. “One minute I’m brave, I’m going to do it, I’m finally going to say it, then I’m looking at her beautiful hazel eyes and I’m choking on my own tongue, I’m terrified, I’m garbage, and I’m saying nothing.”

“Probably for the best,” said James, sounding forced. “She couldn’t possibly feel the same way.”

John looked at his brother in the mirror, noting his downcast expression. “You don’t sound like you’re trying to convince _me_. I think you’re trying to convince yourself.”

James avoided John’s eye, concentrating instead on applying greasepaint to the contours of his own face. “What are you talking about? I’m not in love like you are.”

“James.” John laid a hand on his twin’s arm, stopping his motions and making him turn his head to look at him. “I’m your brother,” John said, seriously. “Moreover, I’m your shadow. You can’t hide things like this from me.”

“Oh, is that so?” asked James, testily.

“Yes, that’s so,” returned John, waggling his head teasingly. “I’m not blind, I’ve seen how you look at her. It’s just how I do. I’m also not deaf. She’s all we ever talk about. And even if I hadn’t noticed all that, I could always just read your mind.”

James looked down, his face turning red. “Nice to know what humble pie tastes like.”

“Why haven’t _you_ said anything to her?” John asked. “You’re the one who wants a wife.”

James shook his head vigorously. “Never. I could never tell her, I couldn’t handle seeing her lovely expression turn to one of pity right before she stomps on my heart.”

“You don’t know--”

“Don’t I?” James challenged his brother. “You haven’t told her either. You know she’d never accept either one of us. These are just feelings we’ve got to hide, whether we like it or not.”

Neither one of them said anything for a long time in favor of finishing their stage makeup and putting on their makeshift matching costumes. When John made for the tent flap, James held his ground, making his twin stand still as well.

“What do we do now?” he asked, his eyebrows drawing together helplessly. “We’re in love with the same woman. Shouldn’t we… I don’t know… hate each other? Or something?”

John grinned. “Well, I don’t know about you, but if I can’t have Rose… there’s no one else she’d be better off with.” He held out his right hand. “If either of us ever manages to screw up enough courage… May the best Smith win?”

James smiled and gave his brother’s hand a firm shake. John was right. If Rose didn’t want to be with James, he’d wish John happiness if she accepted him, though it would probably be the most difficult thing in the world.

Still… if ever there was a ‘compelling reason’ to consider splitting up, that might be it.

Resolutely, he pushed such dark thoughts away and concentrated on remembering the steps to their dance instead.


	3. Overnight Sensation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and James take a stand and leave the side show following their successful audition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took a while to get up! I had to move across the country and then my beta had to move across town! She was so sweet to put up with my begging while she was trying to move an entire apartment. Anyway, thank you all for your patience!

“Ladies and gentlemen,” said Rose from the foot of the stage. She held up her hands and waited for the excited chatter to die down, then smiled broadly. “Thank you. I’m so glad you’ve come to witness the debut of the Smith brothers! I know it’s late and you’d normally be in bed, but I promise you won’t regret the sleep you’re losing. Tomorrow your show will be moving on, but I hope when you think back on this city, you’ll remember this secret show.” She glanced off-stage and grinned. “And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you two of your own - John and James Smith!”

She moved to the side and picked up her mandolin, starting the opening bars of music. The twins danced onstage in a sideways shuffle. The other acts applauded and called out encouragingly.

They began the song Rose had written for them, a charming little number she called “By Your Side.” John performed the harmony parts as he had a slightly lower voice, with more of a baritone sound, while James possessed a sweet, high tenor. It worked to their benefit, since James was much more adept at following a melody and John’s ear easily picked out the right chords.

The soft shoe bit went over flawlessly. Rose had even worked in a bit of their ‘competition’ from their side show act, with one twin doing a step, then ‘handing’ it over to the other, who would try to out-do it. When the steps became so elaborate that the other twin was beginning to get jostled, “Oi, don’t forget, I’m on the other end here!” they picked up the step together and danced with each other in a circle, to the delight of their audience. Rose gave James a proud smile when he glanced over at her, her eyes sparkling with glee at how well the performance was going.

As they finished the last half of the song, the other acts applauded wildly, cheering for the twins as they bowed, their faces flushed with pleasure.

Unfortunately, the loud noise drew someone else’s attention as well. With all the focus on the stage and no one watching the opening to the tent, the Master strode right in, his face in a tight grimace from too much drink and not enough sleep.

“What the _hell_ is all this racket?” he shouted, then clutched at his head with a groan. His expression turned even darker as his eyes fell on Rose and then Jack. “I might have known.” He cast his gaze around at the others, the acts physically drawing back from him. “And what are you all doing in here?”

For a moment, no one said anything. The acts glanced at each other, wondering what excuse could be given that would minimize the inevitable punishment. Just as the Master was drawing breath to shout again, John stepped to the edge of the stage, taking James with him.

“They came to hear us sing,” he said.

“Sing?” repeated the Master, nastily.

“We can sing,” said James. “We _did_ sing.”

“You two get back to your tent!” the Master spat, pointing toward the exit.

“Don’t tell us what to do!” John shot back.

“You’re asking for it!” the Master warned.

“We’re not asking for anything,” said James, encouraged by his brother’s bravery and by their successful performance.

“We are _leaving_ the side show,” said John, definitively.

“Well, we’ll see about that,” said the Master, taking two strides toward them, but Mickey blocked his path. “Get out of my way, Mickey!” He moved to step around him, but Mickey blocked him again, a determined look on his face. “Mickey! You get out of my way or you’re out of this side show!”

His threat had the opposite effect. Rather than Mickey standing down, the other acts banded together beside him, creating a formidable blockade to Jack, Rose, and the twins.

“Have you all lost your minds?” the Master exclaimed, staring at each of the acts in turn with an outraged look. “I will fire the lot of you!”

“What, and put yourself on display?” asked Mickey, calling the Master’s bluff.

“Is this the thanks I get?” the Master asked in disbelief. “After giving you food and shelter in these difficult times?”

“Shelter?” snorted one of the roustabouts. “Leaky tents and a few ramshackle trailers!”

“Food?” said another, incredulously. “You get us whatever stale, leftover slop the stores are throwing out!”

“And you charge us for it!” added Leroy. “You take it out of our pay!”

“I give you jobs!” said the Master.

“We do our jobs, while you berate us and count the profits,” said Olga. “You’ve _never_ treated us right!”

“We’ve had enough,” said Mickey. “Unless you change your ways, we won’t go on and we’ll leave you high and dry, without any acts for your side show.” He gestured at their united front. _“We_ are your singular source of income. And if you push us too hard, we’re gone.”

The Master drew in a deep breath and brought himself up to his full height, straightening his jacket as he gathered his dignity close. “I’ve spent my life in various side shows,” he said. “I can spot a con a mile away. And when that snake sheds his skin,” he pointed at Jack, “it’s the twins that’ll suffer.” He spread his hands with a blithe smile. “I’m one of you. If my prize act is leaving, then our enterprise is going to be less than before. We need each other more than ever.” He backed up toward the exit. “Tomorrow, we’re playing a new city. I think we could all use some rest, cool our heads. So, I’ll say goodnight.”

And with that, he left, as if it was his idea. Silently, the crowd in the tent breathed a sigh of relief.

James gulped, automatically seeking John’s hand. “What have we done?” he whispered. “We’ve lost our jobs.”

Rose was instantly at their side with a smile. “And good riddance! You’ve opened your way for so much more!”

“All because of you,” said John, returning her smile.

“But all we’ve ever known is the midway,” said James, uncertain.

“And I can’t wait to show you the world,” said Rose.

“You won’t believe it when you see your names on marquees, from New York to San Francisco and back,” said Jack. “Someday you might even play the Palace.”

“Buckingham Palace?” asked John, but it was clear he was teasing when he winked at Rose.

“We’re not _that_ good,” said James.

“But we could be,” John said at once, reaching over with his other hand to lace his fingers with Rose’s. “With your help.”

“I’m with you, all the way,” she said, giving his hand a squeeze. “But are you?” Her gaze flicked between the two of them. “Will you give your all?”

“Yes,” said John, and James added, “Absolutely. We’ll do our best.”

“Then your success can only grow from here,” said Jack. “Remember what I said the day I left?”

“‘Say goodbye to the freak show’?” said James, and Jack nodded. He extended a hand to help them down from the stage, with Rose hopping down on her own.

“I think you might want to do that now,” said Jack with a glance at the other acts. “And then grab your bags. We’re leaving tonight.”

The twins turned to the people who had been their family, the joyous atmosphere of a few moments ago fading to one of distinct sadness. They realized that they might never see these people again and tears pricked the backs of their eyes. Each twin opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. How could anything be adequate to express their love and gratitude?

“No, no, don’t cry,” said Franz, the first to come forward. He offered each twin a kiss on the cheek, in his old-world style.

“But we’ll miss you all so much,” said John in a tight voice.

“Oh,” James sighed as he embraced June tightly. “Why should it be so hard to say goodbye?”

“Don’t forget us,” the harem girl whispered, her cheeks already gleaming with tears.

Olga fondly touched their faces. Beneath her beard, the lines on her face seemed more pronounced. When had she gotten old? Why had they never noticed? “Tell your new friends about us,” she said in a choked voice. “It will keep our memory near you.”

“Don’t dwell on the sad times,” said Anya, allowing the twins to wrap her in their arms, since she couldn’t do the same. “I know you’re going to be amazing.”

Minnie wiped her own eyes and sniffled, giving them a watery smile. “Now, now, saying goodbye is part of life. And there’s a whole new world of people for you to meet.”

Mickey shook their hands. “Goodbye, John. James.” He looked at them for a moment more, then grabbed them in a fierce hug. “We’ll always be family. Even when you’re famous.” He pulled back and grinned, pounding James in the shoulder with a gentle fist. “Always knew you’d outgrow the side show one day.”

Sensing that they were witnessing a private moment among a close-knit family, Jack and Rose went back to the harem girls’ tent so Rose could gather her things while the twins finished saying goodbye. Around them, roustabouts and various workers were pulling up stakes and striking tents. Soon they would all depart, leaving nothing behind but a few posters and empty food wrappers dancing in the wind amid a thin ground covering of hay. The ghost of a midway.

* * *

“Thank you for coming tonight,” Jack greeted the numerous reporters with a sparkling smile. The group of journalists and photographers stood packed in the foyer of the New York theater where the twins were to have their big debut later that night. Jack had arranged this special press release in order to make sure they’d be in the audience, hopefully guaranteeing coverage of the act.

“This had better be good, Harkness,” one reporter warned. “Because vaudeville is fading. The readers are more interested in the talkies now.”

“Hey, give the man a chance,” said another, ribbing his colleague with an elbow. “Jack always comes through for us. His stories are great.”

“Yeah, some of them are even true,” joked a female reporter, making the rest of them laugh while Jack feigned hurt with a hand to his chest.

“When have I ever lied?” he asked.

“How about when you said you wanted to settle down?” the same reporter said pointedly with a lifted eyebrow.

“Alright, alright,” Jack said, holding up his hands as the reporters laughed again. “Let’s aim for above the belt, Gracie. And I wouldn’t say ‘lied,’ maybe exaggerated here and there. But this act is the genuine article and I’m giving you the chance to jump the gun on the other papers by handing you this scoop on a silver platter.”

“Okay, so tell us,” said another reporter, his pencil poised over a pad of paper. “What’s this new act you’ve been keeping so hush-hush since you got back from merry old England?”

Jack smiled again. “They,” he said, emphasizing the word, “are John and James Smith. The most talented, handsome, and charming pair of performers, who happen to be Siamese twins.”

As Jack lowered the boom, the gathered reporters predictably hit the ceiling, and all began talking at once. Most in surprise, some in confusion, and a few in revulsion.

“Siamese twins?”

“Jack, since when have you needed to stoop so far as to get your clients from a freak show?”

The murmurs were not encouraging, but Jack spoke quickly before anyone could turn to leave. “No, I assure you, my clients are going to be an overnight sensation!” he said, confidently. “They may be joined at the hip, but it’s secondary to their talent, just wait til you see them onstage. All your doubts will disappear.” He leaned forward and dangled the carrot, a master of the dance. “And you know that your articles will just leap right off the page. Think of the speculation from the public.”

The reporters looked at each other, grudgingly admitting that Jack had a point. The other papers would be kicking themselves for missing this scoop. A legitimate vaudeville performance by Siamese twins? They couldn’t pass it up.

Backstage, the twins were in the midst of a photoshoot, with Rose on the sidelines giving encouragement. They each looked quite dapper in their matching tuxedos, though James kept fiddling with his bow tie and flicking the long ostrich feathers from the tableau they posed in out of his face. John just smiled away, lifting an eyebrow at the photographer and angling his chin to show off his best side. James kept blinking at the flashbulbs, grimacing at the spots before his eyes.

“James, don’t be afraid of the camera,” called Rose. “And you’re standing so stiff, try to relax!”

“I don’t know how!” James said, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to follow her directions.

The photographer lowered the camera for a moment and said, “Try looking at the camera as though looking into the eyes of someone you love.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard,” murmured John, glancing at Rose who was adjusting the dark blue fur on her shoulder. She looked absolutely beautiful for their performance, in a long sapphire colored gown accented with touches of matching lace, her blonde hair in perfect curls.

“Oi, watch it,” James muttered, glaring at his brother. The camera flashed again.

“That’s great!” the photographer said. “You play off each other well.”

“That’s the idea,” said Rose, with a smile for the twins.

“I love the camera, I feel like a film star,” said John, making a bold pose with his arms across his chest and his feet spread apart. Hesitantly, James copied him. “What do you think, Rose? Could I be a god of the silver screen?”

“I think you can do anything you put your mind to,” said Rose, warmly. “After your debut, the world will be your oyster. Jack’s with the press right now, getting them ready to make you the talk of the town. After New York, you’ll be the talk of the nation! We’ll get you bookings all over the States, just think of that!”

John looked excited at the prospect, James furrowed his brow nervously.

“And I’ve got a surprise for you, after your act and the following interview,” she said, touching her tongue to her teeth. “I got Jack to book you in the finest hotel tonight. As congratulations on your assured success and a reward for working so hard with us the past few weeks.”

“Brilliant!” said John, bouncing on his toes a bit and jostling James in the process.

With a final flash, the photographer got up from his kneeling position and assured Rose that they had at least a dozen great shots. He moved away from the tableau to take apart his camera and pack his equipment. The twins relaxed minutely now that they weren’t being photographed and Rose came over to them, her dress fluttering in her wake.

“You’re always doing such nice things for us before we accomplish anything,” James fretted. “What if we’re no good? What if the press hates us?”

“None of that, now,” said Rose, mock-sternly. She took James by the hand, leading both of them over to their dressing room so they could get ready for the performance. “You’re going to be amazing, as long as you just do what I taught you.” She touched his cheek with the tip of her index finger. “And don’t forget to smile!”

Shyly, a reflexive smile spread across James’ face, along with a light pink blush that made his freckles stand out. “I’ll remember,” he said. “It makes my tone sound brighter.”

She grinned as he quoted her own advice back to her. “Very good! I should go out to the--”

“Rose, how about a good luck kiss?” John asked suddenly, his fingers touching her elbow to prevent her from leaving right away.

She blinked, wide-eyed with surprise for a moment, then her smile returned and she took a step towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder and standing on her tip-toes. “Well deserved,” she said, kissing him on the dimple in his jaw. “Break a leg!” She did the same for James and squeezed his hand, reminding him, “Have fun.”

“Oh, we always have fun when _you’re_ around,” John teased, rocking back on his heels. He looked pleased as punch to have gotten his good luck kiss. James had a smile for Rose, but he glared at his brother’s antics.

She gave them another tongue-touched smile, utterly charmed by them as always. “Likewise. See you out there!”

As she turned to head to the front of the house, James pushed open the door to the dressing room and stalked inside, forcing John to come along with him.

“You are absolutely shameless,” James said, angrily, allowing the door to fall shut after they’d both gone through. They each began to undress, carefully setting aside their fine tuxedos and putting on specially made dressing gowns.

John just shrugged. “Showing some interest couldn’t hurt.”

“Some?” laughed James, astonished. “You call that _some?_ You show the absolute maximum available! It’s embarrassing!”

“Oh, would you prefer I act the way you do?” John asked. “All afraid and timid because showing any interest at all would be taboo?” He shook his head. “I honestly don’t know how you expect Rose to catch on that you’re in love with her.” James smacked his brother in the chest, making him cough. “Ow! What was _that_ for?”

“You can’t just say things like that!” snapped James. “What if she overhears you!”

“So what?” John challenged. “Why should we live in fear? She could feel the same way about either one of us!”

“Then why hasn’t _she_ said anything?”

John shrugged again. “She’s shy?”

“Well, I am, too!” Tugging the belt on his dressing gown tight, James moved them to the mirrored vanity so they could start applying their stage makeup. “And for the record, I hate the way you… advertise!”

John narrowed his eyes at his brother in the mirror. “Is that so? Well, I hate the way you always play coy. The innocent and sweet act may fool Rose, but you don’t fool me. I know what you get up to at night!”

“Oh, is that a fact?”

“Yeeees, that’s a fact!” said John, waggling his head. They applied thick eye-liner with pointed cat-eye corners. “There’s only so much moaning and shuddering on the other side of the bed that I can pretend to sleep through!”

“Oh, leave me alone!” snapped James, his face flushing a dull angry crimson as they got to their feet so they could get into their costumes. “This is none of your business, and you’re one to judge! I can feel your shivers just as well as you can feel mine. I’ve heard you groaning her _name!_ So, I don’t think it’s your place to offer _me_ advice.”

“Yes? Well, you’re not my mother or my warden,” said John. “I may have to put up with you as a...” He wiggled his fingers in James’ direction as he searched for the right word. “Chaperone?” His brother rolled his eyes. John went on, “But I’ll act how I like. So, you can leave me alone as well!”

“I am _trying_ to _help_ you!” said James. “Your blatant behavior embarrasses me!”

“Leave. Me. Alone. James!”

“And how would I do that?” he asked, gesturing between the two of them. “Tell me, _where_ could I go? Because, believe me, I’d _love_ to! I could do with some time on my own!”

John’s eyes widened for a moment, but narrowed in the next second, refusing to give in to the shock he felt. “Well... so could I!” he shot back. “And you’ll never find the love you want so much by playing the shy card.”

“And _you_ won’t get it by chasing after someone you couldn’t possibly obtain,” said James.

“Oh, _thank_ you, wise one!” John mocked with a little bow. “What would I ever do without the wisdom you so grandly dispense from your throne?”

“It’s just an opinion!” James snapped.

“Noted! Now, leave it!” said John.

“Leave?” James snorted.

“It’s a simple enough request!”

“You wouldn’t know what to do without me to boss around.”

“I’d be fine without you, thank you very much.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” James sniffed.

John threw his hands in the air. “Oh, I hate you sometimes!”

“Well, so do I!”

“Why am I not surprised that you’re copying me?”

“Ugh!”

Tensions tight between the two brothers, they left the dressing room to take their place on the stage before the curtain went up. How they would get through their debut when they didn’t even feel like speaking to one another, John wasn’t entirely sure. On the other hand, James was grateful for the anger he felt. He thought it might help distract him from the nervousness churning around his heart and the herd of butterflies in his stomach that felt more like tromping elephants.

Rose’s new act for them centered around the theme of the twins being ‘exotic.’ Six dancing girls, dressed in short archaeologist costumes with pith helmets, proclaimed to the audience that they’d found the eighth Wonder of the World. When they opened the lid of a standing dual sarcophagus, John and James appeared from inside. They wore Egyptian pharaoh golden head dresses, their bare chests were dusted with gold powder, fine linen was wrapped around their waists with beaded panels on the front, and sandals were laced up to their knees. Together, they were impressive kings of the Nile. Their titillating costumes showed off how slim and handsome they were to the highest effect, especially when four of the girls returned, dressed as Egyptian queens, to dance with them. Jack told them it was so the act would appeal to both men and women, a wider audience than the twins would get if they appeared on their own.

The new song Rose had written was a bit more ambitious than the brief audition number, since there were more people to sing it, but the twins were the main focus. They sang about how they shared everything and always got along - the irony of the scene in the dressing room wasn’t lost on them.

They sang and danced and instructed the girls to build them a barge to float down the Nile on. Each girl brought on a set piece, forming a golden boat with a dragon’s head. With John and James at the center and two girls at each end, they pretended to paddle downstream. The remaining two girls returned then, dressed in shiny green sequins and carrying a papier mache crocodile. The act ended with a Keystone Cops-esque chase, with the crocodile girls trying to catch the boat. The curtain came down on laughter and immense applause. The crowd loved it!

Rose jumped up and down in the wings, clutching at Jack’s sleeve. “I knew it! I knew they were meant to sing!” she cried.

“Do you hear that crowd?” Jack asked as the curtain went back up so the twins and the girls could take their bows. The people whooped and hollered their approval, and there were many cries for an encore.

When the twins came offstage, Rose caught both of them in a tight hug. “You did it! You were wonderful!” She leaned up and kissed each one of them on their cheeks, making them blush.

“Magnificent,” Jack added, though he knew the twins weren’t paying him much attention at the moment. They only had eyes for one pink and yellow girl.

James’ face was flushed as he smiled down at Rose. “I actually enjoyed myself,” he admitted.

“Oh, James, I’m so glad to hear you say that,” said Rose. She knew he’d been so nervous about tonight, John was always the more confident one between them. She impulsively pulled him down for another kiss on his cheek, then looked at John, who was pouting, and laughed, pulling him down for one next.

“Well, if we always get kisses, I’ll try even harder,” said John, winking at Rose.

She laughed lightly. “Kisses are a small reward,” she said.

“Not to us,” said James, seriously.

“Then get ready for another,” she said, placing her hands on either side of James’ face so she could pull him in to kiss him lightly on his lips. “And another!” She kissed John the same way, smiling at them both afterward. “You deserve so much more after such a successful show. I’m so proud of you.”

They just stared down at her, looking utterly dazed, and missed the commotion of the reporters hurrying backstage, clamoring to talk to the twins. They blinked rapidly as they looked up, suddenly surrounded by all the journalists. Rose held up her hands to ask for them to quiet down, then paused just to build that much more suspense.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” said Rose with a brilliant smile. “It is my honour and pleasure to introduce you to - The Smith brothers!” She faded into the background with Jack as the reporters focused on the two men, still dressed in their Egyptian costumes.

“Okay, okay, we’ve all got questions for you,” said a reporter, “but would’ja mind starting by telling us which one is who?”

Rose saw John and James visibly relax. This was something they knew well. They went through the same “I’m John Smith, I’m James Smith, we’re Siamese twins, I’m always right” routine that they’d done for Rose and Jack that first night, over a month ago. The memory made her smile. Their potential had shone, even then.

“Could you be separated?” another reporter asked.

“Have you been examined by any doctors?”

They told the press a shorter version of what they had told Rose, that they’d been examined in hundreds of different ways and many doctors would love to try to separate them. The reporters were fascinated that the twins could possibly face death should they ever attempt a separation. Readers ate up that kind of metaphysical, existential stuff.

“How do you sleep?” asked a reporter.

“In a bed,” John and James answered at once, which made everyone laugh. They grinned. It was an answer they’d thought of in preparation for the interview, someone had been bound to ask.

“But does one ever keep the other awake?” the same reporter asked once the laughing had died down.

“Well, it does take a bit of doing if one of us wants to roll over,” said John, deadpan, and the reporters chuckled again.

“What about romance?” asked another reporter. “Have you ever been in love?”

“Not yet,” said James. “I suppose it could happen, someday.” He waved a hand through the air to paint the picture for them. “When the moon is just right…”

“And the universe hums,” John added.

“If there happens to be a girl who hears the singer more than the song,” said James. “Then it might happen.”

“Maybe someday love will feel right for us,” said John. “It doesn’t find everyone, but maybe we’ll get lucky.”

Both of them looked over the heads of the crowd to see Rose standing at the back of the room, a warm glow in her hazel eyes. The warmth she always held for both of them. For all that they were in a crowd of people, their thoughts were far away, thinking about the kisses Rose had given them. Each twin could hear his brother’s thoughts as clear as a bell.

_‘My first kiss,’_ thought James in wonder.

_‘I forced the kiss before the show, but not the kisses after,’_ thought John.

_‘I felt her warmth all the way down to my heart,’_ thought James.

_‘She can’t hide that heat in her eyes,’_ thought John. _‘But then, she_ would _be passionate, that’s Rose. That‘s who she is.’_

“So, you’re working with a lot of pretty girls,” said a reporter who wiped his large nose on the back of his hand before continuing. “Like Rose Tyler, your coach. How close would you say you all are?”

“We wouldn’t be here without Rose,” said James.

“And we share our applause with her and the girls in the act,” said John.

“Anything else?” the reporter asked, smirking. “Like your room? Your bed?”

The other reporters reacted negatively at once to the smarmy man’s question. They subtly but rapidly cleared a space around him as the disapproving murmur continued to weave through the crowd. Jack stepped forward to stand nearer to the twins, taking control of the situation with a dark frown on his handsome face.

“Not to pour cold water on your sick fantasizing,” he said. “But this is business. There’s no romance involved.”

“No one who is a part of this act would ever take advantage of the Smiths,” Rose added as she moved beside Jack. She glared daggers at the reporter who’d asked the inappropriate question. “You’re being vulgar, not to mention absurd.”

“So, you don’t have any interest in a… double-header?” asked the lewd reporter with a lascivious grin.

“Don’t you talk to her like that!” John said, he and James taking a step forward.

Jack held up a hand to stop them. “Alright, I got this.” It was his job to handle things like that, to let the twins appear only in a good light, especially in front of the press. He grabbed the reporter by his arm and hustled him out of the theater, leaving Rose to see to the interview with the brothers in the meantime.

“Perhaps I could ask something a bit more tasteful?” said another reporter, having no wish to be thrown out as well. “Haven’t you ever thought about wives and marriage? What about children, having families?”

“Do you feel like priests?” asked another. “Will you always be virgins?”

“Do you know if you’re capable of fathering children?” asked a third, warming to the subject.

Instinctively, James reached for his brother’s hand before answering. “Like anyone, we’ve had dreams of getting married. A wedding. A wife. Having a family to come home to. We want what everyone else wants.”

“How would that work? With your, ah... condition?” asked a reporter, trying not to make it sound like a disease.

As one, both sets of eyes flicked to Rose momentarily before they gave small smiles to the press. “As we’ve recently learned... anything’s possible,” said John, and James nodded his agreement.

“I think that’s enough questions for tonight,” said Rose, earning some disgruntled noises from the reporters. They were never satisfied, of course, but they didn’t argue. “They’ve had a busy day and a very successful performance and they should rest before doing the same tomorrow.” She looked at the twins, her eyes moving between them. “I’ll see everyone out and answer any last minute questions, why don’t the two of you get changed?”

They nodded and turned to go back to the dressing room as the crowd around them dispersed. When the door shut behind them, they paused, equally at a loss. The questions they’d been asked swirled in their minds, and their thoughts were continually drawn back to Rose.

“She kissed me,” James murmured at last. “A real kiss. On the lips!”

“She kissed _us,”_ John corrected, sounding downcast. “Don’t you remember what she said to the reporters?”

“I’m only thinking about one thing and that’s Rose kissing me!” said James, pressing his hands to his chest as his heart raced.

“And then she denied any thought of romance,” said John, moving away from the door to grab a rag from the washing station, but James dug in his heels, making his brother stop.

“But she _kissed_ me!” he insisted. “Words can lie, but kisses don’t.”

“Lie to yourself all you want,” said John, stubbornly making James move to the basin. He wanted to wash the thick stage makeup off and get changed, and he wasn’t going to let his brother’s fantasizing get in his way. He scrubbed his face aggressively and tossed the rag back in the water for James, who reluctantly washed his face as well.

“Now who’s the pessimist?” James asked with a lifted eyebrow as he watched John’s stiff, jerky movements as he got out of his costume.

“I’m being realistic,” John said, shoving his fringe off his forehead. “No one could love a Siamese twin.” He shot James a look that burned with disappointment and frustration. “Nobody wants us. No one ever has and no one ever will!”

James’ face crumpled with emotion. “Why are you trying to kill my dream?”

“It’s not a dream!” John shouted. “It’s a nightmare!” He threw down the linen cloth he’d been wearing around his hips, then grabbed James’ and did the same. “Wake _up_ and look around you!” He gestured to their connection, visible where their unique undergarments had an opening around the flesh between them. “We are _freaks_. Stuck together!” He snatched up their dressing gowns and tossed James his, then stuck his arms through his own, belting it almost viciously. “And we’ll _always_ be alone!”

He waited for James to comment, but his brother remained silent, just holding the robe to his chest. When John looked at his face, he startled to see that James had silent tears rolling down his cheeks. He knew he’d gone too far, even though he’d only spoken the truth.

Feeling like an arse, John gently took the dressing gown from James and wrapped it over his twin’s shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he said, knowing the words probably wouldn’t help, but needing to say them.

James shook his head, slowly putting his arms through the sleeves. “No, you’re right,” he said, wiping his face with his hands. “That kiss probably didn’t mean anything to Rose. ‘A small reward,’ she said. I just...” He sniffed. “I want so much for someone to love me. But who could love me as I am, when I’m not even a ‘me’? We’re an ‘us.’ Who could proudly stand beside me and tell me they love me?” He gave a little smile. “And, no offense, but I don’t want it to be _you.”_

John chuckled softly, glad that James hadn’t fallen so deeply into sadness that he couldn’t make a joke. “I know. I want it, too. I’ve always known that we were different, even from the earliest days. Hearing other children ask questions about us was the worst.” He put an arm around James. “As impossible as it might seem for us, since we’re always together... we’re lonely.”

James nodded and sniffed again. They had each other, but it seemed that they’d never really have anyone else. “I’m scared, John,” he admitted.

“Of what?”

He hesitated, then said in a small voice, “Being alone.”

John smiled. “But you’re not.” With the crook of his index finger, he lifted his brother’s head. “You never have been.” He thought back and said, “Do you remember, when we were small, we’d stand on our tiptoes to look out of the train as we went from town to town? And once in a while we’d see another child, walking over the hills, going somewhere?”

A tiny ghost of a smile crooked the corner of James’ mouth. “And we’d think, ‘how sad,’ because they had no playmate. They had to go through their life all alone.”

“That’s right,” said John. “And remember, we were never afraid of the dark, because we always had each other? I knew that you were right there next to me, and together we could fight any monster that might creep out of the shadows.” He gave James a squeeze. “This is where I’m meant to be, just as you are. Sharing each moment, together. I’m never gonna leave you.”

James’ little smile bloomed into a full one, though it was still sad. “Do you think we’ll ever learn why we’ve lived as two instead of one?”

John shrugged. “Probably not. But I’m thankful it’s been with you.”

James snaked an arm around John’s waist in order to hug his brother back. He was grateful as well, despite everything, and they would learn to make the best of their situation. Just like always.


	4. Private Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins celebrate the New Year in New York, but for all their wild success, they're unhappy and so is Rose. In order for things to move forward, they need to be honest with each other and themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fudging a bit with the Ginger Rogers comment. This is a bit early in her career, but I still went for it.
> 
> Also, I added a bit to the end of the last chapter since I published it... You know, hindsight and all that.

 

The next six months were a whirlwind of performances, all over the country. John and James gained popularity in leaps and bounds, until fans were waiting at the train stations to receive them and every theater sold out. When they headed back East, Jack revealed that they’d been booked for the Christmas season into the New York Follies, arguably the biggest and best stage show in the world.

Rose created a brand new act for them, featuring the Follies Girls in elaborate feathered costumes, playing lovebirds in gilded cages and hanging from swings as the twins sang to them. It was a brilliant spectacle, which was what such an audience would expect from the Follies.

“Great show, you two!” said Rose with a bright, encouraging smile as the twins came offstage after their final bow. She was almost glowing with joy at their success.

The twins accepted the hand towels Rose held out to them and moved past her toward their dressing room, moving almost as if she hadn’t spoken to them. “John, remember when compliments came with kisses?” James asked in an almost lifeless voice as he rubbed the back of his neck with his towel.

“Mmm,” John hummed, almost a mirror of his brother’s tone. “Not anymore. People might talk.”

“Just imagine what they might say.” Both twins carefully avoided looking directly at Rose, even as she followed alongside them toward their changing room.

In the public eye, James and John were all smiles and positive energy. Backstage, however, their behavior was more subdued, withdrawn. It had happened around the same time that Rose had stopped flirting with the two of them.

Rose nearly had to trot to keep up, taking two steps to every one of theirs. Even so, she’d lost some of her bounce in light of their remarks. “Hey, now, that’s not fair,” she protested. “The tabloids keep trying to link you to me. I’m just trying to keep from adding fuel to the fire.” After their initial interview, despite throwing out the nasty reporter, occasionally there would still be speculative talk in the papers about the twins and their coach, ranging from thinly veiled innuendo to almost explicit wonderings.

“They write whatever they want anyway,” said John, over his shoulder. It was true, despite Rose’s efforts to make sure she always acted professionally around them.

“Heaven forbid they should mention you in connection with us,” said James, flippantly.

Rose’s expression crumpled with hurt. “James, nothing in the world makes me more proud than working with you and you know it.”

The twins paused at the dressing room door, James’ hand on the knob. He swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Sometimes I do,” he allowed and John squeezed his shoulder.

They pushed into the dressing room together and Rose followed a moment later, closing the door after her. Jack was already inside, reading the various trade papers from the sofa. The twins stepped behind a large screen to get changed.

“Shake a leg, both of you,” said Jack. “We don’t want to be late for the New Year’s party.”

Rose took a breath and summoned up another smile. “This should be an exciting night. All of New York’s society is coming out to meet you. It’s a far cry from six months ago.”

“I can’t wait,” said John from behind the screen, sounding honestly enthused.

“I can,” muttered James, sounding the opposite.

“Oh, being the toast of the city is so hard for you,” John teased his brother.

“Toast of the city,” James scoffed. “Nothing’s changed. People still point and stare at us.”

“Well, they won’t be able to help themselves tonight,” said Rose. “You two look a treat in your tuxedos.”

A pause. “That’s sweet, Rose,” said James, finally. “But you don’t need to fuss over us.”

“She just wants you to try to have fun,” said John. “And so does Jack, and so do I.”

James sighed. “Alright. I’ll try.”

“That’s all we ask,” said Jack, standing up and letting the paper he was holding fall onto the small table holding a huge bouquet of exotic flowers. “Come on, Rose, you should get changed for the party, too.”

Taking her by the elbow, Jack hurried Rose out of the twins’ dressing room. She pulled free of him and rotated her arm in an exaggerated fashion to show that the move had been unnecessary, not that it had actually hurt.

“Okay, what was that for?” she asked, mildly irritated.

“Well, you really do need to get changed, but I needed to ask you something,” said Jack. “Sometimes it’s hard to get you by yourself. For all that you’ve been keeping them at arm’s length, you still gravitate towards one another like magnets.”

Rose frowned at the reminder of her hands-off behavior toward the twins. “Point taken. So ask.”

“Our boys seem unhappy, especially James,” said Jack, his violet-blue eyes locked on Rose’s face. “Any idea why that is?”

She shifted uncomfortably. “Maybe,” she hedged, looking at a point over Jack’s left shoulder.

He rolled his eyes. “We don’t have time for this, let me break it down for you. Remember when you introduced me to the twins and you asked them what their dreams were?”

“Of course,” she said. “Like it was yesterday.”

“Well, John’s dream has come true. They’re famous now. I think that’s why he’s faring better than his brother. He has the stardom to console himself with.”

Rose’s gaze drifted over to the closed dressing room door. “But James still doesn’t have a sweetheart. A wife. That’s what he wanted.”

“Right,” said Jack. He leaned closer to her. “But he _could.”_

“Of course he could,” said Rose. “He’s a wonderful man.” She hesitated. “But he is a Siamese twin.”

“That wouldn’t matter to someone who loves them.”

Rose’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. She blinked, taken aback. Was Jack right? Should it just not matter? She knew she had feelings for them, but her concerns about how the world would react had made her put up walls. That, and how could she choose? When she looked into her heart, it wasn’t one face she saw… but two of the same face. Would that matter to _them_ , she wondered? She didn’t know how to feel. She could only imagine what it might be like for them.

“Um… I, um… need to change,” she finally managed to squeak out. She pointed vaguely behind herself. “Where…?”

Jack gave a slight sigh and turned her in the direction of the showgirls’ dressing room. “Blue garment bag next to the door. You’ll look good enough to eat.”

Rose didn’t respond to Jack’s teasing, she was too caught up in her own head. It was obvious even to Jack that she shared a connection with the twins, though she’d tried to push it aside, hadn’t wanted to admit it to herself, as if that would make it fade.

She wanted both of them. Her breath caught in her throat and she had to pause by the door as a wave of nervous butterflies tore through her stomach. What if they hated her for it? What if they believed she thought one wasn’t good enough, or that she couldn’t see them separately? That wasn’t it at all. She loved them both for different reasons, but equally. She’d fallen for both of them. She didn’t know what was worse; loving both or loving only one.

And there was the truth of it. She loved them.

Feeling like she couldn’t get a full breath, Rose felt herself move forward like an automaton. The girls’ dressing room was crowded and noisy. Rose grabbed the garment bag, hanging right where Jack said it would be, and hurried past the changing showgirls. Instead of going to a vacant mirror, she detoured to the loo and locked herself in. Breathing hard, she draped the garment bag over a sink and leaned against the wall.

Having admitted how she felt, it was suddenly so real. But how could she say it out loud? How could she tell them? They deserved to know.

“What do you want to say to us, Rose?”

Her head shot up, her spine going rigid. In the full-length mirror before her, she saw John and James standing side by side. She gasped and covered her mouth with both hands.

“Say it,” said John, his eyes bright and encouraging. “This is your chance.”

“Could it be about love?” asked James, a soft expression on his face.

She sagged back against the wall, letting her arms fall to her sides. “I’m going mad,” she murmured. “This isn’t really happening.”

“What’s so mad about imagining someone’s response when you’re nervous about the answer?” asked John. “Nothing wrong with a little private conversation in one’s head. So, here we are. Yours for the taking.”

“But only in my mind,” she said, sadly.

“And a mind is very private, Rose,” said James. “You often visit ours.”

“Shall we show you what we do there?” asked John. “How we kiss. How we entwine.”

She shivered and blushed, thinking of the many guilty fantasies she’d entertained over the past months. The twins each held out a hand to her, their fingers wiggling enticingly.

“Come on,” they said as one.

“Don’t hold back,” said James

“Let us show you,” said John.

“Show me what?” she asked, breathlessly.

They smiled and said, “How to dance.”

Rose closed her eyes. In her mind, she reached for both of them and they pulled her through the mirror, into a dream world of their own making. Two sets of arms held her around her waist, bringing her in close to two warm, slender bodies. A sweet kiss from one, a more eager kiss from another. Fingers that slid over her skin, gripped her hips, cradled her head. They turned her this way and that in a weightless dance through the air, each touch growing more heated, each kiss more fervent, but still not quite crossing that line.

“Is this what you want, Rose?” They held her away from them, each twin holding one of her hands. “Or is _this_ what you’re wishing for?”

In astonishment, she watched as the brothers slid together, the images superimposing over each other until they settled into one, and suddenly, she was holding hands with a single man. Just one. And he looked like either twin. Which was why it felt so wrong.

Instantly, her eyes began to fill with tears. “No,” she choked out. “This isn’t right.”

“Even though you could have a proper dance with me?” he said, even sounding like a mix of their voices, so she couldn’t tell if it was really just an image of one twin or a true meeting of both. “A proper relationship?”

“This isn’t about me wanting a combination of the two of you so I could be with just one.” She gulped and shook her head. “I can’t… I can’t explain it. I love you both. So, I couldn’t be happy with just one, not if it meant there was another who was alone. Does that make me selfish? Greedy? I don’t know… I don’t know what it makes me. People will say it isn’t decent, it isn’t done… And what if you don’t want to share me? What then? Should I leave the act? Because I couldn’t choose. I wouldn’t do that to me or to either of you.” She exhaled roughly. “Change back. Please. This isn’t who you are.”

With a smile that might have been tinged with a little bit of pride, the image of the solo man split and John and James were themselves again. Letting go of their hands, she fell into their combined embrace, wrapping her arms about their waists and nuzzling her face in the space between their shoulders. When she straightened, she gazed at each of them lovingly and reached up to touch their cheeks.

“I imagine you so well,” she said, slightly amused. “How you feel and smell… how you taste.” Here, James ducked his head slightly while John gave her a wink and a raised eyebrow. She could guess every mannerism, it almost made her feel like laughing. If only there weren’t tears in her eyes. “I just wish I could predict your answers with any certainty.”

A sadness slipped into their expressions as the dream faded, as if they didn’t want to go, but Rose knew they had to. She opened her eyes to see an empty bathroom. The mirror held only her own reflection and the room around her. She looked wrecked; her makeup had streaked down her face and her eyes were red, the conflict she felt written large in her expression.

Straightening her shoulders, she wiped her face and took a deep breath. She’d spent enough time stalling. With quick movements, she wet a tissue in the sink and cleaned her face, then hurried to get dressed. Somehow, she vowed she would find the courage to tell the twins the truth.

* * *

They arrived ‘fashionably’ late, in order to make their entrance. Jack and Rose introduced them from the top of the grand staircase of the ballroom, to rapturous applause. They waited politely until the crowd quieted, spreading their infectious smiles across the enormous room.

“We’ve had a brilliant year,” said James.

“And we’re delighted to ring in the next one with all our new friends,” said John.

“You could be off in Rome or St. Tropez--”

“--or Madrid!”

They did a quick, stylish step together, clicking their heels on the marble floor, to the delight of their audience.

“But instead you’re here with us,” said James.

“And for that, we thank you,” John finished. “Happy New Year!”

They descended the staircase to more applause, each of them taking a flute of champagne from a passing server. The flashy, impeccably dressed crowd gathered around, all eager for some stardust to rub off on them.

“Which Siamese twin is which?” asked a society matron wearing a feathered headband.

The twins smiled, blandly. They’d had to do this bit more times than they could count, but now, they left out the theatrics and were just themselves, a small mark of how far they’d come.

“I’m John Smith,” said John with a slight nod.

“I’m James Smith,” said James with a tilt of his head.

“We’re not Siamese,” they finished together. A low chuckle rumbled through the guests.

“Then what are you?” asked the same woman.

“Twins who are conjoined,” said John, matter-of-fact.

“Well, whatever you are,” said a tittering young female in a fringed dress. “Don’t you want to be normal?”

_“Who_ ever you are,” said James, lifting an eyebrow at her, “don’t you?” The girl, realizing her faux pas, shrank back, but there were more questions from the others to take her place.

“Don’t you want wives?” asked another lady wearing a fur around her neck.

“Is that a proposal?” asked John, waggling his eyebrows.

The group of guests laughed, along with the woman who’d asked the question. “What if it is?” she challenged him back.

John just shrugged. “Sorry, I’m already attached,” he said, aiming his thumb at James, who nodded with a little pout.

From the stairs, Jack and Rose just watched with pride as more laughter drifted around the twins. John and James had gotten so good at leading their audiences, they had them eating out of the palms of their hands in no time.

“Could you have children?” The question came from a man this time.

James hissed in a breath through his teeth, telling the gentleman in a teasingly regretful tone, “Well, not with _you,_ mate. Biology doesn’t work that way, I’m afraid.”

The man turned a little red, but still chuckled good-naturedly with the others. “Could you, though?” he pressed, appearing genuinely curious. “With your condition, I mean.”

James lifted one shoulder nonchalantly. “The first widely known conjoined twins, Chang and Eng--”

“Who _were_ Siamese, incidentally,” John cut in.

“Yes, thank you,” said James, before continuing. “They had wives who lived in separate houses. The brothers shared their time equally and had twenty-two children between them. It’s not unheard of.”

“We’re just so busy with our career at present,” said John. “I don’t think it would be fair to ask any potential sweetheart to join us on the road. And travel isn’t exactly ideal for young children.”

“At any rate, that’s enough standing around talking,” said James, lifting his champagne flute. “The party’s just starting. Let’s have some dancing!”

“Yes, everyone enjoy yourselves and have fun!” added John, clinking his glass to his brother’s before they each downed the contents in one go.

With a happy exclamation of “cheers!” the guests followed their example with their own drinks then either made for the dance floor, the numerous tables ringing it, or the bar at the side of the room. While Jack went off to mingle and network with the guests, Rose approached the twins, her smile only slightly tremulous at the edges.

“Wonderful speech,” she told them. “You’ve gotten so good at this, you don’t need Jack to manage things anymore.”

The twins inclined their heads modestly. “You look beautiful tonight, Rose,” James said softly, playing with the stem of his glass.

“What, this old thing?” she asked, teasingly, giving them a little twirl. Jack had outdone himself with her gown, that was for sure. The neckline plunged daringly low in the front and back from tiny shoulder straps and clung to her curves down to the hips, where the beaded satin fabric flared out into a full skirt, trimmed with a wealth of ostrich feathers. The white on white confection of a garment managed to look both innocent and sinful at the same time. “I think Jack stole it from Ginger Rogers’ wardrobe.”

“I think you wear it better,” declared John. “You look like an angel fallen from heaven.”

“I was just thinking that,” said James, glaring a bit at his brother.

“I know, that’s why I said it,” said John with a teasing giggle.

“Now, now,” said Rose, taking the empty champagne flutes from the brothers before anything could get dropped in a moment of forgetful temper. She set them aside on an unoccupied table and returned to James’ side with a smile, threading her arm through his. “This is a celebration,” she reminded them, leading them out toward the large open glass doors to the veranda. It was after eleven and the stars twinkled down on a New York that was full of life. “Let’s not provoke one another. At least not til you get back to the hotel.”

The twins nodded, even if James did it a bit grudgingly. Rose leaned in and nudged his shoulder with hers.

“What’s the matter, James? I can tell you’re not happy.”

He avoided her gaze and shrugged. “Oh, it’s the end of the year. Isn’t it normal to get the blues?”

“Not me,” she said, smiling. “I’m with my favorite men.”

“Don’t you mean ‘business associates’?” asked James, a tad harshly.

Her expression fell and she let go of his arm in hurt surprise. “James!”

“It’s what you tell the papers, isn’t it?” he asked.

“The papers? Those vultures don’t deserve to know the truth,” she said. Her heart began to flutter nervously, but she was determined to see this through. Even so, she moved away from the other guests out on the wide balcony, not wanting to be overheard.

Both of the twins looked at Rose, half in confusion, half in curiosity. “What is the truth, Rose?” asked John, slowly, as they followed her over to the side, partially hidden in the shadow of the building.

She took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever their reaction would be. “That our friendship goes much deeper than just working together,” she said. “I know I’ve kept things professional for the sake of your careers, but…” She spread her hands. “Surely, you’ve seen-- or at least guessed-- how much I love you both. I must have said it with every look.”

The twins gaped at her. “Love?” John choked out. James appeared incapable of speech at the moment. In fact, it looked like he might suddenly have a heart attack that would kill them both.

“It can’t be anything else,” she said, aware that her face was heating up. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” She glanced at the floor and reached up to fiddle with an earring. “Ha-- have you?”

“No,” said John, still in clear astonishment. He looked at James, who was still just staring at Rose. John elbowed him gently and James jumped, then shook his head, dumbly. “But… well…” John gestured between the two of them. “Which one of us?”

She knew her face had to be flaming red by then, but she bit her lip and straightened her spine, determined to look them both in the eye so they would know she was telling the truth. “I’m in love with both of you. I don’t know how else to say it.” She brought her hands together. “Just please, _please_ don’t hate me for this.”

“Hate you?” James finally managed to rasp out a few words. “That isn’t-- You don’t--” He took a gulping breath and grabbed John’s arm as though he feared losing his balance, or more likely just needed the support through contact. He shook his head, getting his voice mostly under control, but he sounded pained as he said, “Rose, please, I can’t joke about this.”

“This isn’t a joke,” she said. “I never said anything because I was afraid… well, that you’d think ill of me. But when I look at the two of you, I see the family I want in the two best friends I’ve ever had.” She searched their faces for any hint of condemnation. “Is that wrong? Please say you at least believe me.”

“I think it’s safe to say we’re caught off-guard,” said John, looking to his brother for confirmation, though he could feel James’ uncertainty as clearly as his own. “This is so unexpected… We even considered a separation, if it meant one of us could court you successfully.”

Rose’s eyes widened. “Knowing that one or both of you could die from the operation?” she asked, her voice going high-pitched.

“High risk… high reward,” John said, softly. “If you’d fallen for one of us, then the other wouldn’t have to--”

“That didn’t happen,” she said, quickly. “So I don’t want you talking like that.” She brought a hand to her neck as she took a deep breath, feeling the thundering pulse racing beneath her skin. She pressed her lips together, but the outburst she felt bubbling up wouldn’t be held back. “What foolishness! Risking such a thing for _me!_ Promise me you’ll never, _ever_ consider doing that surgery for anyone other than yourselves!” Her voice caught. “I could have lost you,” she whispered. “And you never would have known…”

The twins looked down at the floor. They didn’t need to say anything for Rose to see the regret they felt over almost making such a life-changing decision for the wrong reasons.

“I’ve never trusted much in good times or success,” said James, slowly, his voice low. “They always left us so quickly, making the dark times seem darker. It’s hard to trust my heart. Especially after convincing myself that this would never happen.”

“I’ll admit, I helped with that,” said John, reaching over to squeeze James’ shoulder. “But this…” He ran a hand over his hair, disheveling the combed style. “Neither of us could have predicted _this.”_

Rose blew out a breath. “Is it as impossible as it feels?”

“No!” both twins said at once, then looked at each other. The understanding passed between them at once and they stepped forward to take each of Rose’s hands in both of theirs. “Rose--” they began together, then laughed softly.

“You go,” said John, sensing how important this was to his brother.

James smiled at him gratefully, then turned his gaze to Rose. “We’ve loved you since the moment you first smiled at us,” he said, tenderly. “But we never thought you’d choose either one of us, let alone _both.”_ His eyes danced. “Leave it to you to find another solution.” He looked to John again and his brother nodded, encouraging him to go on. “You know our dreams, Rose. From day one, you’ve sought to make them all come true.”

“That’s not the reason I told you,” she said quickly. “I’m not doing this just to make you happy.”

“I know,” said James, then tilted his head at John. _“We_ know. That’s not who you are. Oh, you want us to be happy, but you’d never lie to us.” He took a deep breath. “We want you in our life and if that means we have to share… Well, then we’ll be sharing the most amazing woman in the world.”

Rose beamed at both of them, her heart soaring at his words.

“I won’t say that it won’t lead to some competition,” John warned.

She conceded that with a nod. Competition seemed ingrained in the two of them. “But no jealousy,” she said, giving them each a serious look. “I love you each separately, but equally. I don’t want anyone keeping score of who gets kissed first and so on!”

The twins shared a side-long look, but eventually nodded. Rose still had a distinct feeling she might be settling a few pouting wars in the future. They both leaned towards her, then hesitated and rocked back on their heels, glancing at each other again.

“How will this work?” James asked with a breathy exhale that was almost amused, already almost exasperated at the situation. “I mean, we’ve never--” He cut himself off abruptly and the twins’ four ears turned dark pink.

Rose touched the tip of her tongue to her smile. “Honestly? I’m not sure. I have no idea how ‘this’ will work. All I know is, it’s no one’s business but our own, so we can make it up as we go along.” They both nodded in agreement. “I think perhaps we should approach it just like learning to dance… One thing at a time.”

For no other reason than he was slightly closer, Rose closed the distance between John and herself, bringing one hand around his neck, threading through the short hair there. As she pulled him down to meet her lips in a tender kiss, she felt for James with her other hand. She felt the crisp shirtfront under her fingers and let them wander up, past his bowtie and collar, until she could cup his cheek, tracing the apple with her thumb. A soft whimper left James, just as John sighed through his nose, his lips becoming more mobile, slightly more heated than the simple kiss that they’d started with. Rose felt another hand on her back then, aside from the two of John’s on her hips, and a thrill ran up her spine. James held her hand to his face, bringing it to his mouth to kiss her palm. At that warm touch, she slid the hand at John’s neck to his chest to gently push him back. His disappointment clearly showed on his face, just as much as James’ eagerness showed on his. Rose almost felt like laughing, her heart was so full. There would definitely be some learning to give and take in this strange, but wonderful, new relationship.

Just as she was lifting her arms to put them around James’ neck, the three of them froze when they heard, “Hey, what are you doing way over here?”

Jack had found them.

“Your guests are wondering where you are,” he said. He eyed their little group and lifted an eyebrow. “What’s going on?”

Rose opened her mouth, having no idea what she was going to say, when John blurted out, “James was just about to propose to Rose!”

They stared at him, gobsmacked.

“I was?” said James in a soft, high voice. John elbowed him viciously and he repeated louder, “I-- I was!” He nodded enthusiastically, a huge smile on his face.

“You were?” Jack looked at each of them in turn. “And… everyone’s _okay_ with this?” He seemed to direct his question at John specifically.

John lifted his hands. “I couldn’t be happier!”

Jack’s face lit up, glad and excited for the three most important people in his life. “What a story this will make!” he said. He took a step back, but otherwise made no move to leave them to their ‘intimate moment,’ rather he seemed pleased to be able to observe and be a part of it.

It seemed they were doing this, or else announce what was really going on. And while they doubted Jack would be one to judge, they’d already agreed it was their own business. With a cough, John suddenly dropped to one knee, making James do so as well with a startled little “ack!” Rose giggled. James looked horribly lost as he took her hand in his, it was adorable.

“Um…” he stalled. “Um, ah…”

She smiled, then drifted her free hand up toward her chest as she mimicked taking a deep breath. It was the same type of direction she used to give him from off-stage, whenever he started getting nervous. His shoulders relaxed immediately as he took the breath she advised and let it out.

“Rose, I love you,” he said and her heart pounded to hear him say it. When her eyes flicked over to John, she could easily see on his face that he felt every word his brother was saying for the two of them. “I’ve dreamed of you sharing my life ever since you first began to teach us to sing. You make me so happy. Please allow me the opportunity to attempt to do the same for you. Please become my wife. Please, marry me.”

Her eyes filled with tears and a lump the size of a grapefruit in her throat, Rose nodded, unable to squeak out a single syllable. The twins were on their feet in a moment, sweeping her into their arms. Jack took the opportunity to come forward and wrap all three of them in a bear hug.

“Fantastic, just fantastic!” he said. He pulled back, clapping his hands together excitedly. “I’ll tell you what… Let’s make it public! This party is a wonderful opportunity to announce your engagement! New Year’s Day, new love! The story of the year - the decade! You’ll be on every front page!”

Before any of them could say anything, Jack was hurrying back to the front of the ballroom to gain everyone’s attention. John winced at James and Rose.

“I think I may have said the wrong thing,” he said, wrinkling his nose. “I was only trying to think of a way we wouldn’t have to hide how we feel. At least, if you marry one of us, then legally, no one can say anything.”

“But John,” she said, furrowing her brow as she touched his arm. “It’ll be James I marry… That won’t bother you?”

“Well, I’ve always been the better actor,” he said with a wink.

James smacked him in the arm.

“Like you said,” John went on. “It’s our business. _This_ is just window dressing for the public.” He smiled at James. “You get your wife. I get our career. It makes sense for everyone, and we all benefit from the publicity Jack is no doubt stirring up right now.”

Rose rolled her eyes and took James’ arm to head back to the ballroom. “Come on, we’d better get inside for the announcement.”

A brief titter escaped James as they walked. “I’m finally getting married!” he exclaimed, the reality catching up with him.

“Yes, you’re a very lucky bloke, aren’t you?” teased John.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Jack was saying from the stairs, his face practically glowing with enthusiasm. “The hour of midnight is upon us and I have big news to ring the New Year in with.” He gestured to the doors where Rose was emerging with the twins and everyone turned to look. Automatically, they smiled, a picture perfect tableau. “The lovely Rose Tyler has just accepted a proposal of marriage from Mr. James Smith!” The crowd burst into spontaneous applause. “Love is the lead-in for this brand new year, let’s all wish them our best!”

Glasses were lifted to toast to the marriage as the clock struck twelve. As everyone kissed their sweetheart while fireworks filled the sky, James leaned down to finally claim his kiss from Rose. He clutched her around her waist tightly, his other hand tangling in her artless blonde curls.

No one saw John holding her hand behind the cover of James’ back, his thumb brushing lovingly along her wrist.


	5. You Should Be Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following the New Year's announcement, Rose and the twins begin an "engagement tour" where they promote their upcoming wedding. The strain of pretending only James and Rose are in love takes its toll on all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW!

There was no way either twin could fall asleep after everything that had happened at the party. Their minds continuously buzzed with incredulity and amazement, preventing any rest from occurring. So, in the small hours of the morning, they were fully awake when they heard the creak of their hotel room door opening and the click of it being shut with obvious care. They sat up in astonishment, wondering if anything was wrong, when Rose poked her head around the doorway of the bedroom.

She blushed when she saw them looking at her expectantly. “Oh, you’re awake,” she murmured, ducking her head.

“You were planning on sneaking up on us?” asked John, half teasing, half serious, as he ran a hand through his bedhead. Just what was she doing, creeping into their room at night - or rather, early morning?

She came through the doorway, fidgeting with her fingers. Her curls had all been brushed out, leaving her hair in a fluffy golden halo about her shoulders, and she wore a lace trimmed dusky pink robe. “I told myself if you were asleep, I’d just go right back to my room,” she said.

“But we’re not,” James pointed out, unnecessarily. “So…?”

Rose bit her lip, hesitating for just a moment, then brought her hands to the belt of her robe and deftly untied it. She let the garment fall to the floor, leaving her in just a flimsy silk slip. Both twins visibly swallowed and openly stared.

“Been dreaming about this for months,” she said as she crept closer to the end of their bed. “Now that I’ve told you everything… I couldn’t sleep. Just kept thinking about coming in here… so I did.” She gave a breathy exhale of a laugh. “Now, I don’t know what to do.” She shook her head. “I mean I know _what_ to do, but I’ve never… not with _two.”_

James and John couldn’t help but smile at Rose’s adorably flustered face. It was obvious she wasn’t used to being uncertain. “Well, you’ve got more experience than either one of us,” said John, trying to put them all at ease with a little levity.

“Slowly, then?” asked James, looking for her approval. She nodded, gratefully.

As one, they shoved down their bedsheets, revealing their striped pajama bottoms, and scooted to the end of the bed. They held out their arms for her and she came over, straddling the inside leg of each of them. She brought her hands up, gliding over their scant amount of soft chest hair sprinkled across their pectorals, then continued the journey upward around their necks, twining her fingers in their hair. They each pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrists. She cradled their heads while their hands gently roamed over her silk-clad body, her waist, her hips, down to her bare thighs, up again to her ribs, just barely brushing the sides of her breasts. The twins swallowed and licked their lips, gazing up at her with adoration in their dark eyes for their golden goddess.

Stepping back, she extended her hands to them and helped them to rise. Turning them in a circle, Rose sat down in their place, then slowly moved back on the bed. With her eyes on them, she tugged her slip upwards, revealing herself inch by inch, a sweet, tortuous seduction, then finally pulled the thin garment over her head. Another thick swallow from the twins as they blatantly appreciated her bare form.

She gestured at their already tented cotton trousers and lifted a teasing eyebrow. They went through the practiced motions of simultaneously undressing. When they straightened back up, it was her turn to swallow nervously. Absolutely identical and… impressive, to say the least! She sent up a brief note of thanks to whatever deity was listening.

They crawled over her, but took their time in doing so, pausing to kiss her ankles, the inside of her knees, her soft upper thighs. Their slightly shaking fingers followed the journey, brushing over the damp curls hiding her femininity, her flat stomach, her pert breasts and pebbled nipples. Each of them reverently whispered how beautiful, how perfect, she was in utter disbelief, certain that this was merely another dream.

Slowly, they explored her, mapping out each smooth expanse of skin with hands, lips, and tongues, finding out what made her gasp, moan, and whine for more. They’d never known anything so soft as her breasts, or so responsive, as the nipples tightened within the warmth of their mouths. Her fingers clutching spasmodically in their hair felt wonderful, eliciting a purr-like growl from John and a soft groan from James.

When her hips began lifting off the bed towards them, they both reached to touch her sex, grumbling in frustration when their hands bumped into each other. Patiently, Rose guided one hand to her wet heat, the other to the slick nub just above. She taught them what she enjoyed, how to curl one’s fingers to send her flying, to alternate fast movements with slow.

They faltered, however, when she reached down and grasped their cocks in each hand. A high pitched moan left James while John sucked in a startled breath. Their entire bodies began to tremble as she stroked the velvety flesh and they had to stop touching her in order to brace themselves up on their arms, fearful of falling on her.

“Decide now,” Rose said, unwilling to wait any longer.

They looked at each other, no doubt in their minds as to what she was asking. _Who goes first._ After an agonizing few seconds, John finally bit out, “You go. I got the first kiss tonight.”

James looked like he might argue for a moment, then his eyes rolled back in his head as Rose twisted her wrist on the upstroke. Nudging John over a little more, he grabbed Rose’s thighs and dragged her closer. She wrapped her legs around his waist, over the connection at his hip, and kept touching John’s length, but languidly. Just enough to keep him interested, but not enough to let him tip over the edge.

James swore as he pushed the head of his cock into her drenched opening. “You’re so hot!” he exclaimed. “So… tight!” He pressed his lips together to muffle his moans as he slowly pressed in deeper.

“Now, out a bit,” she instructed in a breathless voice. “And then back--” A strangled groan escaped her. “Yes, just-- just like that!”

He gave a few shallow movements, spreading her wetness along himself, until he could take a full thrust. Then, with a primal cry, he was lost to the instinctual rhythm, as old as time. John couldn’t help but thrust along with him, joined as they were, but it only aided Rose’s hand strokes. While James concentrated on the actual act, John was free to touch her as much as he liked, to drink in the adoration in her eyes and memorize each sound she uttered. It was sweet agony, waiting to worship her the way he longed to, but if the nonsensical disjointed combination of babbling and swearing coming from his brother was anything to go by, it would be well worth the wait.

It wasn’t long before James’ rhythm began to quicken and become more erratic. “Please, Rose, please, I need-- I need, I need--!” He didn’t know what he needed. _More,_ seemed to be the right word, but more _what?_

She took John’s hand from where he was playing with her right breast and directed it down between her legs, to stroke the pearl above where James was joined with her. “It’s alright,” she gasped. “I’m here, I’ll catch you, love, just let it happen.”

Just as Rose began to keen, her inner walls convulsing with her own orgasm, James came with a hoarse shout, tipping his head back and squeezing his eyes shut, almost as if he were in pain. Sheer ecstatic bliss came rolling through his link to John, who rumbled a soft answering moan. He didn’t know if it was cruel to know what awaited him, or if it only heightened his anticipation.

James crumpled inward, falling over Rose and making John tumble down as well. John grunted, wincing slightly as his hard cock met the surface of the bed. Not exactly comfortable. Besides, he was impatient for his own turn.

“Oi, shift,” he said, poking James in the side.

“Nnnnggghhhhmmmmm…” James burbled incoherently, his face buried in the crook of Rose’s neck.

She giggled and pushed at his shoulders. “Come on, love, up for just a moment, then you can rest, I promise.”

She and John assisted James in getting them all to their feet, an adorable little whimper escaping James as his softened cock slid from her, leaving a trail of moisture along his inner thighs. Rose maneuvered them in a circle once again, letting the twins lay back on the bed this time. She crawled to John and knelt over him, placing her left knee beside his right hip and her right foot over the connection with James. It wasn’t perfect, but she’d thought about it for ages, just how to work around their conjoined hips without hurting them. It would do. At least until they managed some more practice.

“Oh, God, Rose!” John exclaimed as she lowered herself onto him. He struggled to catch a full breath for the first moments, as he adjusted to the feel of her encasing him in perfection. Then, because he couldn’t resist touching her, he brought his hands to her hips and helped her to move.

Up and down, her breasts jouncing with every motion. He didn’t know where to look - her flushed face, her gorgeous breasts, down where he could see himself entering her again and again - he was overwhelmed. So much to touch and feel, so much _more_ than any fantasy.

When she ceased bouncing and began grinding herself down as she moaned and gasped, he bit his lip. Beyond it feeling amazing, Rose just _looked_ incredible - like a pagan goddess of desire - her mouth open, her eyes shut, her golden hair dancing around her shoulders. He knew he wasn’t going to last very long, not with so much beauty on display and hot velvety steel wrapped around him.

All at once, Rose went still and rigid on top of him, crying out passionately, as her inner muscles clenched down tight. She moved against him twice in short, jerky motions, and John came, thrusting up into her helplessly, as white stars exploded behind his closed eyelids.

When he came back to himself, John was surprised to find the sleepy satisfaction making his head dizzy was reflected back at him. Then he remembered James. In shock, he realized that his brother was there. His brother, who’d been beside him all his life - he’d _forgotten_ about him! He marveled at this new power Rose possessed, to make him forget who and where he was. Mentally, he asked James if he’d experienced something similar.

 _‘What part of ‘Nnnnggghhhhmmmmm’ did you not understand?’_ was the answer he got back.

With a tired grin, he helped Rose to move off of him, because their girl was well and truly exhausted now. Gently, he untangled her legs from the half-crouching position she was in. Both twins agreed mentally that they were definitely going to have to come up with a better way of doing this. James assisted in draping her over the two of them, since neither twin wanted to give up cuddling privileges. With heavily lidded eyes, she lifted her head and kissed them each in turn.

“I love you,” she said before settling back down.

They knew she was saying it to both of them. Not one and then the other, but both at the same time. Equals.

“Love you, too, Rose,” they both said, wrapping their arms around her.

* * *

The overnight sensation John and James’ debut had created when they first arrived in New York now appeared like nothing compared to the whirlwind of press they faced in the wake of the New Year’s announcement. Jack presented them with an ‘engagement tour,’ where they made the most out of the publicity. Towns were begging _them_ to come, instead of the other way around. Not just theaters, but radio stations as well.

Since every interviewer wanted to talk to Rose as well, she was brought into the twins’ act and composed a new song for all three of them called _One Plus One Equals Three._ The twins were ecstatic to have Rose with them, rather than backstage, even though John privately told them that he didn’t much care for the song. It was difficult for him to have the idea of Rose choosing between them constantly reinforced wherever they went, even if it wasn’t really true.

Rose’s sudden fame was difficult for her to handle all at once, but she had to admit, she was happy. Singing and dancing onstage with the two men she adored was better than the dreams she’d entertained as a child growing up in show business.

She shook her hands at her sides as they waited to go on the radio in the latest town, trying to rid herself of her nerves. She couldn’t believe it, after all these years, _now_ she developed stage fright! The twins came up behind her, each of them taking a hand and giving it a squeeze.

“You’re reminding me of me,” said James with a smile.

“You’re a wonderful performer, Rose,” said John. “And now you’re the star we knew you should be.”

She gave them each a smile. “You two give me confidence out there.”

Jack had not only come through with securing a marriage license, but had also arranged a suitably huge wedding for them. Texas wanted their wedding to be the grand finale of their Centennial and they’d been invited to have the ceremony at the Cotton Bowl, right on the fifty yard line. At each performance before the date, they invited everyone to come, since they considered every fan of theirs a friend. It would be the wedding of the century, according to Jack. John couldn’t help but point out that the century wasn’t very old just then.

Rose and James were excited, of course, and John told them he was as well, but the other two couldn’t help but be concerned about him. James was free to show affection to Rose whenever he liked. John noticeably, at least to them, had to hold back.

He couldn’t hide how he felt from James, who could feel his brother’s longing through their link. Rose caught subtler cues, watching him shove his hands in his pockets to keep himself from reaching for her, a dimple in his cheek betraying the tightness of his jaw, even as he smiled.

It wasn’t long into the tour when they noticed a marked lack of appetite in John and his restlessness at night was keeping James awake as well. Often, Rose had to cuddle up to John’s side and run her fingers through his hair until he fell asleep, just so they could all have enough rest. When they made love to Rose, James was letting John take the lead, feeling like he had to compensate for so many kisses he’d gotten throughout the day. It wasn’t an ideal situation by any means, even though John said consistently that he was alright with it.

“We’re worried about you,” Rose told John one night as they sat together on their hotel room sofa. She was snuggled up sideways in John’s lap, with her legs draped over James’. She wanted to broach the subject carefully since she knew how important being famous was to John. “The interviewers are mostly asking James and me questions… You must be feeling left out.”

John shook his head. “We’re getting more attention than ever.”

“But James is the focus,” Rose pointed out.

“We’re used to sharing.” John leaned in to kiss her neck to punctuate his point. “And getting better at it all the time,” he murmured against her skin.

She shivered happily. They were all definitely improving in the bedroom, to their mutual delight.

“There’s a lot riding on this wedding,” John reminded both of them as he straightened back up. “This is our chance to do something important, to make a big splash and be remembered. I just have to keep playing my part - the enthusiastic brother-in-law to be.”

Rose’s brows drew down as James’ lips pressed together. John sounded so nonchalant, but James shook his head.

“I can feel that you’re not happy,” James said. “Why do you try to hide it?”

“Because I have to,” John said. “For all our sakes. It’s not easy.” He held Rose a little closer, resting his forehead against hers. “When you take his hand, I tingle all over. When you kiss his cheek, I feel it on mine. I have no idea how I’ll get through the wedding. Though I’m looking forward to the honeymoon,” he said, waggling his eyebrows.

John’s salacious comment aside, all three of them were excited about the honeymoon. They planned to go back to England and try to track down their original side show. If they could, they wanted their family to know of their success.

* * *

“Yes, we’re planning a great big wedding for all our friends,” Rose told the local press at the group interview in the next town they traveled through.

The hotel they were staying at had provided a large room and the trio sat at the end of it, at a table for three which separated them from the massive crowd. It seemed like all the reporters and photographers in this town as well as the next few over had packed into the available chairs and stood around the edges of the space.

“That means you and anyone who reads your papers. You may consider this your invitation!” she said with a little laugh.

“Hope you’ll all attend!” said James, smiling.

“Sounds like it’ll be quite the event,” said a reporter near the front as he scribbled in his notepad.

“Well, we figured, might as well do it up right,” said James. “Have the big wedding--”

“And then a small honeymoon,” said Rose. James grinned at her and laced their hands together on the tabletop. She bumped his shoulder with hers.

“Don’t mean to ignore you, John,” another reporter said, pointing with his pencil unnecessarily at the twin to his left. “You must be feeling like a third wheel during all these wedding plans. Is it boring? Do they make you feel like a spare tire?”

John’s smile froze for a fraction of a second, but Rose caught it, and James felt the instantaneous and nearly violent rejection of the notion through his link to his brother. But like always, John swallowed the truth and shook his head. “Well, I will say that _this_ one,” he pointed at James, “is an utter perfectionist when it comes to clothing. I don’t even _know_ how many fittings I’ve had to go to, just because he wants his suit to look _just so.”_

“Well, it’s not every day a bloke gets married,” James protested.

“If you’re lucky,” said John.

“And you’ve been to _three_ fittings, you dramatist.”

“Also, Rose is wonderful at making me feel included,” John said, getting back to the question. “She’s never, _ever,_ made me feel like a ‘spare.’” His statement was fraught with emphasis, but only James and Rose knew the reason why. To cover it in front of the press, however, he grinned and added, cheekily, “She let me pick out the cake flavour!”

“It’s pretty obvious that you have affection for each other, you and Rose,” shouted a reporter at the back of the room. “You don’t seem at all worried about her reputation.”

John’s brow furrowed. “What are you implying?”

“Well, many people think she’s kind of a hussy since she’s basically marrying both of you,” the reporter said, tossing it out off-hand, as if it was of no consequence. A low murmur rumbled through the crowd at the loaded statement. A snide note entered the reporter’s tone as he added, “We’re wondering if you’ll be able to keep your hands to yourself once the wedding happens, or if she even wants you to.” He tilted his chin at Rose. “What do you say, sweetheart, are four hands better than two?”

Jack was already heading to the back of the room to remove the greaseball reporter, when John surged to his feet, bringing James with him in the process. He slammed his hands down on the table, bringing the entire room to a standstill.

“THAT. IS. ENOUGH!” he bellowed. His fists were tightly closed at his sides and a vein throbbed in his forehead. The impeccable actor had vanished, leaving an honestly livid man in his place, fairly seething as he hissed in his breath through clenched teeth. John had had enough and the nasty reporter was just the last straw.

He pointed at the man. “You, sir, will leave immediately and never let us,” he gestured between himself, his brother, and Rose, “see your face again! Yes, Rose is dear to me, I love her very much - as a brother loves his sister! Soon enough, she’ll _be_ my sister! You, and anyone who thinks like you, disgust me!”

James was frozen in place, too gobsmacked by John’s outburst to move or speak, even to attempt to cover what John had said with something a bit more sedate.

Unable to stand looking at the despicable man any longer, John sent a mental command to his brother to help Rose from her seat because they were done here. Not wanting to stay and have John field anymore questions while he was in such a temper, James did as John said and told Rose they were leaving, offering her his hand.

They hurried out of a side door while the reporters shouted more questions and flashbulbs went off. Jack was left to finish things as they went upstairs to the twins’ hotel room.

Rose sat on the sofa in the sitting room while John paced the small area in front of the connecting bedroom, dragging James along with him. Poor James struggled to keep up with his brother’s rapid turns, even with their innate ability to predict each other’s movements.

“I’m alright, I’m always alright,” John assured them both, dragging his hands through his hair, wildly disheveling it. He sounded anything _but_ alright as he struggled to keep his tone low and even. “This was just an off day for me. I’ll adjust. We’ve always learned to adjust. It’s… a learning process.”

“There’s no excuse for what that reporter said. And we know making you act this way isn’t fair,” said James, speaking gently because he could still feel his brother’s rage simmering beneath the surface.

“Of course it’s not bloody well fair!” John spat. He snatched up the wooden chair at the vanity and threw it over the bed. It cracked into the wall and a painting crashed to the floor, making Rose jump slightly.

“John, we shouldn’t be doing this if it’s making us all this miserable,” she said with a sigh, rubbing her forehead with one hand. She was feeling the strain herself, trying to balance the twins emotionally as best she could while their public personas were a constant source of stress. “It doesn’t feel right. This isn’t how love should be.”

“No, but our love is different,” said John. “We knew that from the start. I just didn’t think it would be this bloody difficult! Pretending day after day that I don’t feel anything for you but--” He shuddered, making a sound in his throat as if his gorge was rising up. _“Brotherly_ affection. It makes me want to choke. Every damn time!”

“I know, love, I do,” said Rose, standing up and coming over to them. She took John’s hands in hers to stop him from wearing a hole in the carpet. “This is torture. I want so much to love you freely. It’s what you deserve, what you _both_ deserve. Constant devotion, not just behind closed doors. I feel like the passion flooding through me every day is going to burst my heart sometimes. You should be loved equally, the same way I can show James.”

“I know, Rose,” sighed John. “But the world won’t let us.” He looked to his brother. “We wanted to be like everyone else, remember? This love that we have… It’s strange and powerful and wonderful, but we know how people are. They won’t understand. Do you know James and I heard someone from the audience in the last town, saying that since we were all so happy, I had to be a voyeur and you an exhibitionist? Imagine what they’d say if they knew the truth!”

As unhappy as they all were, John was right. No matter how much the three of them wanted to put their love first, to save their careers they had to keep on with the charade. Rose put her arms around John’s neck, pulling him down to rest her forehead against his. James stroked her hair, his other arm around his brother.

“I love you,” John whispered, his voice strained. “No matter what lies I have to tell.”


	6. I Will Never Leave You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the 'wedding of the century,' according to Jack, and the twins are given an exciting offer. It seems like the most sensible thing to do... but is it what they all want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW!
> 
> Thank you all who read this fic. I fell in love with it really hard, it kinda snuck up on me. My beta will tell you how I was fussing over it, wanting the ending to be JUST RIGHT. Larx, I hope you enjoyed it, sweetie! I know it's like, a month after your birthday now, lol!

 

James ducked his head out of the window of the automobile to stare at the billboard outside the Cotton Bowl midway. On the enormous wooden advertising sign, he, John, and Rose’s faces had been painted in striking detail and remarkable resemblance, each of them at least six feet high.

“Close your mouth, you’re gonna catch flies!” said John from inside the car.

James pulled his head back inside, his hair a riot from the wind. “But just look at that!” he exclaimed, pointing out the window. “That’s the biggest billboard I’ve ever seen!”

“Well, this _is_ Texas,” said Jack, glinting an amused grin in the rearview mirror. “Everything’s the biggest!”

John leaned across James to look at the billboard and frowned. “Our names aren’t on it.”

“Trust me,” said Jack. “You see a gigantic sign that says ‘the wedding of a Siamese twin’ and people will know it’s referring to you.”

“Me?” said John, straightening back up. _“I’m_ not getting married.”

James elbowed his brother to shut him up. John was still intermittently temperamental over having to act like he wasn’t in love with Rose, but they couldn’t freely talk about it in front of Jack.

“Feeling left out?” asked Jack, sympathetically.

John sniffed and brushed some imaginary lint off his sleeve, tamping down his temper. “Maybe. But that’s normal, right?”

Rose reached over the front seat and took John’s hand. James placed his on top and she smiled at both of them. “We’ve been so busy,” she said. “I don’t think John’s gotten the attention he deserves in all this.”

“I think you’re right,” said Jack. “And it’s my job to keep my talent happy.” He pulled the car over in front of the backstage entrance. “Why don’t the three of you go have some fun on the midway and I’ll oversee the last minute prep for tomorrow?”

“Oh, Jack, are you sure?” asked Rose. “I mean, a nice distraction would be fantastic, but--”

“No buts,” he said, waving them off. “You need diversion. I can handle things. You go have a good time. Shouldn’t be hard. It’s a Texas-sized playground!”

Rose leaned over and gave Jack a peck on the cheek then hurried out of the car and held out her hands for the twins, who climbed out of the back. They waved goodbye to Jack and ran toward the rides and games, laughter bubbling up from all of them.

John and James quickly showed their veteran midway roots as they steered Rose past the game booths that were cons and easily won her a stuffed bear and a stuffed rabbit at the legitimate games. They preened a bit as she lauded their multiple talents. They ended up riding the ferris wheel twice so Rose could sit next to each of them once.

It was good fun, but it didn’t really take their minds off of the wedding the next day. They kept getting periodically interrupted by people who had already bought their tickets for the event. Most of them wanted to wish James and Rose well, others were more blatantly curious about the twins, and some were downright rude. They hinted that Rose was only marrying James out of pity and made thinly-veiled remarks about James having to share his wife. With smiles on their faces, the three of them managed to keep up a bright exterior and appear friendly in spite of the comments. Their time being interviewed had prepared them well for situations like this, but it never ceased to hurt on the inside.

When Rose saw the tension on the twins’ faces, their matching dimples standing out in their tight jawlines, she decided they’d had enough. They’d come here for distraction, but more than that, they needed a break from being in public. At the far end of the midway, she spied their respite and led the twins under the red and white sign that read ‘Tunnel of Love.’

It was really just a large building that had been constructed to hold water, but in the bright sunlight and heat of Texas, the dark, cool interior would be a welcome change. The boats were shaped like two large swans swimming side by side, their heads bent towards one another so their necks formed a graceful heart shape. When the boat entered the building, it would float along the canal in the dark, providing about ten minutes of privacy for the riders.

There was just enough room for all three of them to squeeze onto the bench, after all, the ride was designed for couples, but they managed. Once the doors closed behind their boat, Rose shifted from James’ side and straddled the twins’ inside legs.The pleated skirt of the short, naval inspired summer dress she wore rode up her thighs. They groaned as her knees pressed gently against their groins and their arms went around her immediately. John kissed Rose hungrily while James latched onto her neck, sliding open-mouthed kisses from below her ear to the junction of her shoulder.

“Touch me, touch me,” she pleaded, whispering against John’s lips as she groped for his hand and then James’. She guided them under her skirt right away, pushing her knickers aside, since their time was limited.

The twins had been working on pleasuring her simultaneously, coming up with new ideas all the time, which they _had_ to try out. Rose never complained, even when some were less successful than others. They laced their central hands together for a move they’d designed a few weeks ago. Leaving their index fingers standing up, side by side, they were able to both enter her. Their thumbs slowly stroked on either side of her sensitive nub, driving her wild.

She threw back her head and moaned before switching to kiss James who had been waiting patiently. John rubbed his face back and forth against the breast nearest to him, his lips passing across the tight nipple below the fabric, a needy rumbling sound at the back of his throat. With their free hands holding onto the sides of the boat, they rutted against her thighs, desperately seeking friction.

Whispers of “please” and “yes” sounded almost too loud in the darkness as Rose unhooked their trouser clasp and slid her hands into their pants. She made tight circles around their cocks with her fingers. With no time to tease, she stroked them quickly, a movement that they echoed with her.

Rose was close already, utterly on fire, she could feel her own wetness dripping down her thighs. She couldn’t help but move her hips in time with their hands, begging almost incoherently for them to make her come. Their cocks pulsed out of sync in her grip as they gasped. She knew they loved it when she talked that way, so she never held it back, and it delighted her every time she could get them to react physically to her words. She pleaded as they brought her closer and closer to the brink of a steep cliff, moving her own hands faster, wanting them to come with her over the edge.

With the twins sharing their combined pleasure back and forth between their link, it wasn’t long before James came, with John following directly after, almost completely losing themselves and all thoughts of who they were.

As their hot come spurted over Rose’s hands, the rapid motions of the twins’ fingers and the erotic, illicit nature of their adventure all became too much for Rose and then she was crying out, lost in the darkness. The boat they were floating in felt like it was drifting through space. The twins grounded her, wrapping their arms around her and murmuring how much they loved her, as she sank into the deep languid warmth of satisfaction.

None of them could bring themselves to care if what they were doing could be considered sinful to others. To them, it was divine.

A little disappointed that there wasn’t any time for cuddling, they cleaned up using the twins’ handkerchiefs. They only just managed to sit back and make sure they were presentable as the boat emerged through the doors at the end of the tunnel. Though the ride operators lifted a brow at their flushed faces and slightly rumpled clothes, they didn’t say anything. They were probably used to it. It was likely they’d gotten a response at all because there were three of them.

Rose could still feel the dampness on her inner thighs, a deliciously naughty sensation. She lifted her brow at her men and gave them a tongue-touched smile. “I believe all this fun has worn me out,” she said. “Take me back to my hotel room?”

Recognizing that insatiable look in her eyes, they didn’t need to be told twice.

* * *

The day of the wedding, the Cotton Bowl was abuzz with activity as the stadium was prepared for the ceremony. Outside, hawkers and ticket sellers plied their trade. A long line of excited people bought ticket after ticket and perused the souvenirs.

“Hurry, hurry, getcher tickets here,” the ticket sellers called. “Wedding show today, step right up! See the bride, see the groom, and see his brother! See them wed today, see who shares the honeymoon!”

“Yes, sir, right here,” called a hawker. “Getcherself a souvenir! Remember this day with a special memento - a two headed twin mask! The kiddies love ‘em!” He held it up to his own face, a likeness of John and James’ heads with their central eyes missing so the wearer could see through it.

“Red hots!” called a vendor with a steaming tray. “Getcher red hots! In honor of the twins, double hotdogs joined in a bun!” He laughed coarsely at his own innuendo. “Get ‘em red hot! Two for the price of one!”

“Wedding today!” called the roustabouts. “What a story to tell your kids! Next to the day you tied the knot with your own sweetheart, you’ll remember this wedding for the rest of your lives!”

The stage set up on the fifty-yard line was decorated with white ribbon, candelabrum, and a graceful wedding arch covered in pink and yellow roses. An impossibly long white runner led from the podium where the reverend would stand all the way down to the entrance where the athletes normally would emerge. Today, the locker rooms were converted into bridal and groom suites for the wedding party.

Jack adjusted Rose’s veil of creamy lace before heaving a sigh. “I always knew you’d make a beautiful bride, Rosie,” he said, with feeling.

He looked her over, trying to see if anything needed fixing, but she looked perfect. The sweeping white gown was modest in the front, but was draped low in the back, and a spray of rhinestones decorated the small of her back over her hips. Under her veil, she wore a matching rhinestone-dotted lace cap, which would look pretty at the reception after the ceremony.

“I’m glad you’re here with me, Jack,” said Rose with a smile. “You’re the closest thing I have to a sibling. You always cared.”

He grinned. “We were good for each other. I just hope your parents don’t want to kill me when you go back to England a married woman,” he said, cringing.

She leaned toward the large mirror and fussed with her hair under the veil. It had been pulled into a wispy bun, low on the back of her head, with a few curls escaping the style. “Mum will get over not seeing the wedding. I think she’ll be busy dealing with the fact that I married conjoined twins.” She waved a hand, distractedly. “Well, you know what I mean.”

“Might as well be,” Jack said. “John’s going to be there, regardless.”

As if talking about them had conjured them up, John and James burst into the locker room declaring, “Happy wedding day!”

They looked marvelous in their custom made three-piece suits. John wore a warm, chocolate brown suit and waistcoat with light blue pinstripes and a darker brown tie with sapphire colored roses. James, being the groom, wore a slightly flashier suit and waistcoat of bright blue with little red pinstripes and a deep crimson tie with blue cherry blossoms. Matching, but separate, each their own man.

Rose ducked behind Jack with a squeak, holding him by his broad shoulders to keep herself hidden. “James! Go away! It’s bad luck if you see me before the wedding!”

“Oh, that’s just an old wives tale,” James scoffed.

He made a grab for her by reaching around Jack, but she just swiveled him around. John lunged around the other side, and Rose swiveled Jack again, laughing. With a playful growl, the twins began chasing her in earnest. The three of them ended up using the agent like a maypole as they giggled like children the whole time.

“You know, it’s all in good fun until someone loses an eye,” Jack said, trying to be stern, but unable to keep from smiling.

Suddenly, a knock on a metal locker startled them all out of their games and they looked up to see a man in a sharply tailored suit standing there. “Excuse me,” he said. “So sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to catch you before it all starts.”

“You shouldn’t be back here,” said Jack, moving forward to show the man out, but he held up a hand to forestall the action.

“Jack Harkness?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“Tod Browning,” he said, offering his card. “I’m from MGM Studios.”

“Tod Browning, the film director?” asked John, his interest peaked.

Mr Browning looked the twins over, nodding to himself. “You must be the Smith brothers. Wonderful, just wonderful. I came here from Hollywood to offer you parts in my new film. With the publicity from the wedding, it’s sure to be a hit!”

“What a great opportunity,” said John, grinning at James. “To make the transition from vaudeville to film!” He looked at Mr Browning, excited. “What’s the title of the film?”

“Freaks.”

The word was like a slap in the face to Rose and the twins. They knew it made sense, and yet… A short, hysterical laugh barked out of Rose. James and John turned to her, askance.

She shook her head. “Come look at the freaks,” she said, sadly. “Even now… what is this wedding? Just another freak show, isn’t it?”

The twins were crestfallen. She was right. Even with how far they’d come, they still couldn’t escape the side show. The crowd outside wasn’t there to see the wedding because they wanted to wish them well. They wanted to see the wedding of a Siamese twin. To look at the freaks, just as Rose had said. And by being with her, they’d brought Rose - beautiful, compassionate Rose - into their world. She was a freak now, too.

Mr Browning chuckled as though she’d made a joke. “Well, you have to admit, you’re not exactly normal.”

Rose’s spine went rigid. “Normal?” she repeated, her tone icy. “Feeling love _is_ normal.” She paused, her eyes widening as the truth of her statement hit her. She looked at the twins with an expression of revelation as she slowly said, “Fighting it is not.”

The corner of John’s mouth turned up in pride and James’ eyes shone. “James, can you hear what I’m thinking?” asked John.

“Yes,” James answered. “Clearly as if you’d spoke.” He straightened his shoulders and looked at the director. “Mr Browning, I’m afraid we can’t be in your film. In fact, we’d have to be mad to be in it. Because there aren’t any freaks here.”

With a grin, Jack moved to Mr Browning’s side. “I’ll show you out.”

“Alright,” Mr Browning said, reluctantly. “But I think you’re making a big mistake.”

“I heard there were some female conjoined twins down south, if that’s any help to you,” Jack offered before the door closed behind the two men, leaving Rose and the twins alone.

“We can’t go through with this.”

The twins turned to Rose in surprise. “What do you mean?” asked John. “We’ve just said we’re not going to be in the film.”

She pressed her lips together, regret in her eyes. “I meant the wedding.”

“Rose!” exclaimed James in shock. “What are you saying?”

“What about vaudeville?” asked John.

“I’ve tried,” she said in exasperation. “But this is breaking my heart.” She sighed. “I love you _both_. I can’t go on pretending I only love one for the benefit of the world. We deserve better.”

James hesitated, but finally, he turned to his brother and said, “We really do, John. It doesn’t feel right, this wedding. It feels selfish to me. Why should we go through with this, just because it’s the easiest path?” He sighed. “And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, because I know this will crush your dream, but--”

“No, I’ve _had_ my dream,” John said, suddenly. “I’ve found out I traded one side show for another.” He took a deep breath. “And it doesn’t make me happy. It’s just taken me this long to admit it.” He reached for James’ hand, pressing his lips together in a tight smile. “You stepped up to let me have my dream. I can do the same for yours.” He held out a hand to Rose and she took it at once, offering hers to James to complete the circle. “There’s a new dream I’d like to pursue now.”

“This means we can’t get married,” James pointed out. “No one will marry the three of us.”

“I don’t mind,” said Rose. “I don’t need a ceremony to know I’m in a committed relationship, to feel like what we have is real. Do you?”

The twins shook their heads. “And what about the public?” asked John.

“I don’t care about them,” said Rose. She squeezed their hands. “Only you. If I have your love, then we’ll rise above any whispers or stares.”

James nodded, but watched his brother closely. “Are you sure about this? I mean, I know we’ve found out that fame isn’t all we thought it would be, but-- It _is_ what you’ve always wanted.”

“Honestly, James, I think it would be good for us to retire,” said John with a slight sigh. “Go out big and on top. We’ve seen the world and it’s seen us. It’s time to close the door on vaudeville and move on to the next stage in our life - Love.”

“Ah, love,” Jack sighed and the three of them turned to see him standing there, leaning against the lockers with his arms crossed over his chest. “We all adore romantic stories of love, whether they’re told in prose, song, or dancing, because we all welcome any reminder that there’s always a chance that love could transform our lives.”

“Erm…” John rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at his brother.

James pulled on his ear. “How long were you standing there?” he asked, awkwardly.

“Long enough.” Jack pushed away from the lockers and put his hands on his hips, lifting an eyebrow at the three of them. “So… plotting the tanking of your careers while I was away, eh? Not very nice of you. And after all I’ve done.”

Rose came forward to take Jack’s hands. “Forgive me, Jack. I can’t go through with the wedding. I love them both. It’s not fair.”

“But Rose,” Jack pleaded, “if you love them both, then at least marry _one_. It’s the smartest thing you can do for your career, not to mention theirs.”

She smiled, but shook her head as the twins moved to stand near her, a united front. “Sorry. I just can’t. _We_ can’t. You’ll need to find some new star clients, Jack. We’re done with vaudeville. Now, it’s about living our lives for _us_ and what makes _us_ happy.”

Jack hung his head. “Give me strength.”

She giggled and leaned in to give him a warm hug. “Try to laugh. This is the biggest joke.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” Jack said, giving a little pout to appear put out.

They laughed. “Well, you didn’t ask,” said John.

“It wasn’t because we thought you’d judge us,” Rose assured him.

“It’s just-- private,” James finished.

“I get it,” said Jack, reaching into his jacket pocket. “Well… I was saving this for after the wedding, but…” He pulled out a thick envelope and handed it to Rose. “Your tickets to England. I guess you’ll be staying there.” He sniffed and blinked, obviously holding in his emotions. “I’ll… miss you all.”

“You’ll come visit us, won’t you?” asked Rose, taking the envelope. “At least, when you come to poach new acts?” She offered a teasing tongue-touched smile and Jack grinned.

“Count on it.”

* * *

Rose, John, and James were never married, despite their endless search to find someone who would consent to do it. But they lived happy lives, remaining committed to each other without the benefit of a piece of paper that made it ‘official.’ Just like being conjoined, it simply didn’t matter in their relationship.

Their brief stint with fame and success had ensured that they would live a comfortable existence without putting themselves on display ever again. Rose composed songs once in a while that she published for a steady income. It was a quiet, peaceful life, the kind that James had always longed for and that John came to appreciate.

John and James did eventually consent to be separated, but not for several years. Rose had become pregnant and John contracted a potentially deadly virus around her fifth month of pregnancy. The doctor told them that if John died, James would follow immediately or soon after, and made a bid to surgically separate them. Not wanting to leave their child without at least one father, they said yes.

As they lay side by side on the surgical table, about to go under the knife, as it were, the twins reached for one another simultaneously. They joined central hands, bringing them up between them and John repeated his promise to his brother in a hoarse voice, “I will never leave you.”

Miraculously, he was able to keep that promise. John made a full recovery after the successful surgery, but they were glad they hadn’t taken any chances. There was an obvious transition period for the twins following the operation - leaning to one side, only to fall over; reaching for a hand that wasn’t immediately there; saying something, only to realize the other person was in another room. But they didn’t ‘pine’ for each other, as suspected. They still felt their link, could still hear each other’s thoughts.

Being separated also led to some interesting new ‘experiments’ in the bedroom, much to their combined delight.

They were able to meet their new son side by side, through the window of the men’s waiting room in the hospital, filled with gratitude and love.

When they managed to track down their original side show, all of the acts were instantly named godparents, giving the baby a huge surrogate family. The twins thought it fitting, since they’d grown up the same way.

Unsurprisingly, the side show was completely welcoming of Rose and the twins’ unconventional relationship. Provided that Rose ‘treated their boys well,’ which she promised to always do. The twins had found love, and if they were happy, then their family was as well.

Everyone actually acted more surprised to see the twins apart. Not missing a chance to show off, the twins wowed their family with some fancy dance moves to prove they ‘still got it.’ They stood next to each other like they used to do, starting out simple, then breaking apart when the steps became too complex. They whirled Rose around, switching off multiple times, then danced with her in the middle of both of them in a beautiful waltz pose.

The acts applauded, incredibly impressed at how much the twins had learned while they were away. They would have wanted to see more, but Olga derailed the impromptu performance when she asked for help in detangling the baby’s hands from her beard. At the end of the night, however, right before the trio left, the baby started to fuss because it was past his bedtime. A hush fell over the camp as Rose and the twins sang a soft lullaby to send him to sleep. There wasn’t a dry eye to be seen.

As the child grew, it was clear he was the spitting image of the twins, which led to many joking arguments over who he looked like more. Rose just rolled her eyes and let them bicker. She knew it was just another way the brothers showed affection for each other.

She was confident in the knowledge that their child would be raised with an understanding that love was bigger than most people thought. That it transcended borders and common concepts and could be mad and frightening and wonderful. And that, no matter what he might hear others say, he was the product of true love. The wild, passionate, glorified love of three people who completed each other. Equally in love - absolutely, unashamedly, and unreservedly.


End file.
